In the Weird

Ugh?

2011-10-07T00:01:00.001-07:00

What up with this 'life' thing?

The Invention of Hugo Cabret

2011-05-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

I've been reviewing books over at Steve Barancik's Best Childrens' Books, but, after I wrote this review, I realized that Steve had already posted his own review, and I *really* enjoyed this novel. Check out Brian Selznick’s The Invention of Hugo Cabret

It is always a joy to discover a book that embraces attractive and conventional children’s book tropes (a friendless but talented orphan, a mysterious object paired with a mysterious notebook) while, at the same time, exhibiting and celebrating boundless inventiveness and creativity. The Invention of Hugo Cabret is such a novel. Some aspects of the story play out precisely as the seasoned reader might expect, as the young hero, Hugo Cabret, slowly unravels the secrets of an unusual automaton retrieved from the smoking ashes of a burnt museum, while other—secret identities, shifting loyalties, and the story’s true purpose—surprise the reader with no advance warning.

Visually, the book offers another surprise: much of the story is communicated not in the straightforward, descriptive text of the novel, but through lush pencil illustrations, lovingly detailed and crosshatched for depth and perspective, similar to the manner of a Chris Van Allsburg book. In some ways, these pictures convey more meaning and emotion than the writing could possible hope to accomplish, most particularly when the artist catches a particular expression in the hero’s eyes. When he is intent on study, or pleased with kindness, or shares a moment of understanding with another character, it is reflected in the eyes, and the pictures are literally worth a thousand words.

The plot of the story revolves around young Hugo, an orphan child from a family of clockmakers. After his father’s death, he becomes apprentice to his uncle, who maintains all the clocks in a large train station. However, the uncle drinks, and soon Hugo becomes responsible for the clocks all on his own, even after his uncle disappears for good. However, Hugo’s primary concern is a damaged automaton, an obsession with which led to his father’s death. Hugo is determined to repair this strange and magical toy, to which end he has been stealing small pieces from a toy shop in the train station. One day, the toymaker catches him and discovers the small notebook in which all Hugo’s father’s observations about the automaton had been written.

The toymaker steals the notebook, and Hugo, in his desperate attempt to recover his property, strikes up an uneasy friendship with the toymaker’s goddaughter. Together, they begin to wonder: who is the toymaker, and why is he so interested in Hugo’s notebook? Why won’t he let his goddaughter, Isabelle, attend the movies, and why does he take Hugo on as an assistant, while pretending to have destroyed his notebook?

At the heart of the story comes Hugo’s revelation: he is as competent as any clockmaker, and he may be able to fix the automaton without his father’s notes. If he does so, he’s certain, he’ll receive a message from his father that will help him find his way in the world, show him that he’s not completely alone.

Needless to say, Hugo does fix the automaton. He even receives its message, which both reassures him and leads to far more perplexing questions, which carry him though the second half of the novel. The Invention of Hugo Cabret is a mystery and a love story: the mystery of the automaton’s meaning and the toymaker’s identity, and the love of young children for magic and adventure and uncovering the hidden truth. This wonderful book helps the reader rekindle a belief in true, everyday miracles. Magic can happen, it promises. We need only help it along.

Sound good? You can buy this book direct from Amazon though this link to Dragon's Library.

Plugging Away

2011-02-25T16:15:00.000-08:00

If you simply don't have enough Dragon in your life, there's a remedy!

First, of course you can always check out my other Blogger blogs, including my book review blog, Dragon's Library, or, for a more potent shot of Dragon, dip into my microfiction blog, Raincoat Flashers.

Want if you want to see Dragon in print? You can order a copy of the January 2011 issue of Bards and Sages Quarterly, a lovely publication that includes my short story, "Spin Free," along with some more great speculative fiction. My first published piece was a semi-professional sale! How about that?

Still not enough? How about a whole novel? That's right, now you can actually read one of my many unpublished novels on inkpop.com It's called The Final Flavor and it's about eating disorders, teen sex, mad scientists, love, betrayal, and a very unusual fetish.

Inkpop is new terrain for me. This site encourages writers to upload their work, which is evaluated by the community. Every month, the top 5 manuscripts are sent directly to the editors at HarperCollins. It's a great web 2.0 idea. The mss are all YA books and the users are mostly teens, so you can get actual feedback from the actual intended readers of your work. If you do take a look at my book and enjoy it, why not create a profile, leave me some feedback, and recommend my novel? You may help me achieve my dream!

The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains

2011-02-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains is a comprehensive discussion of the effects of modern technology on modern thought, packed with information all too often glossed over or ignored in our quest for more and more efficient computing, networking, and information retrieval. This is not a hollow lamentation from a hysterical Luddite yearning for the past, but a detailed, scientific journey through the landscape of the mind.

The Internet is an exciting and distracting place, an entrancement into which it is far too easy to fall and from which it is far too difficult to extricate oneself. Carr noticed that as he spent more time online, he was less able to focus on anything. Other academics noted that their dependence on the Internet resulted in a loss of their ability to read long pieces of text. The digital age promised to provide us access to the information that would make us smarter, but more and more users report that they feel scatterbrained, unable to concentrate. Why? Because our technology is shaping our minds, and not necessarily to our advantage.

To structure his argument, the author provides a good description of how the brain works, including the concept of neuroplasticity. We are born with certain connections in the brain, but as we learn, we create more and more connections. This is the nature of intelligence. We can continue learning, and therefore continue creating new neural pathways, throughout our entire lives, and the more we practice a behavior or study a subject, the more entrenched those neural pathways become. Our actions change our brains.

Further strengthening his reasoning, Carr uses historical information to demonstrate how analog technologies have changed how humans think, and, in doing so, made wholesale changes in how society behaves. The invention of maps, clocks, and typewriters has had a profound effect on individuals and civilizations. The proliferation of the printing press and of copious reading material introduced a dependence on deep, linear, and introspective thought that has allowed greater advances in philosophy and art, a way of thinking that once was the sole bailiwick of privileged intellectuals.

The Internet threatens all that.

Multiple studies have demonstrated that, far from enhancing our learning experience, the type of multi-media and on-demand content that is the hallmark of the Net actually decreases our ability to learn. Study after study shows that “people who read linear text comprehend more, remember more, and learn more than those who read text peppered with links.” Clicking, it was discovered, “got in the way of learning.”

And this is not likely to change. Clicking is the basis of the Internet, and for Google, which has become our virtual god and ruler, clicks are currency. While Google’s stated mission, to catalog and distribute all the information in the world, is a noble one, their business model is the sale of ad content. Google wants you to click, because clicking is their bread and butter, and they spend millions of dollars scientifically determining what makes people click.

Google’s profits are tied directly to the velocity of people’s information intake. The faster we surf across the surface of the Web—the more links we click and pages we view—the more opportunities Google gains to collect information about us and to feed us advertisements. Its advertising system, moreover, is explicitly designed to figure out which messages are most likely to grab our attention and then to place those messages in our field of view. Every click we make on the Web marks a break in our concentration, a bottom-up disruption of our attention—and it’s in Google’s economic interest to make sure we click as often as possible. The last thing the company wants is to encourage leisurely reading or slow, concentrated thought. Google is, quite literally, in the business of distraction.

The result is that Web users are bombarded with information that they fail to process or remember. Content as a bridge to content, rather than the revelations or conclusions or questions inspired by content, becomes the end goal. Humans require some processing to move ideas from short-term to long-term memory, and this leapfrogging from idea to idea inhibits that transfer. It turns out this technology is “not only diverting resources from our higher reasoning faculties but obstructing the consolidation of long-term memories…. The Web is a technology of forgetfulness.”

And this effect follows us offline, due to our neuroplasticity. Using the Internet literally teaches the brain to be distracted, forgetful, and shallow.

Carr found that, in order to write this book, he had to get off the Internet. He stopped blogging, disconnected from his social networks, and checked his email infrequently. But, once he finished the book, he got back online. In no way is he suggesting that the Internet itself is bad. He admits that it improves our skills in certain tasks, such as spatial reasoning and certain types organization. Computers, it seems, teach us to excel at the tasks that computers themselves excel at.

These advances, it’s suggested, come at the cost of excellence in those tasks at which humans excel. He concludes, “as we come to rely on computers to mediate our understanding of the world, it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence.”

We cannot undo technological advances, and few of us have the luxury of unplugging completely. However, keeping ourselves aware of the changes the Internet wreaks on our thought processes provides an opportunity to control the effect. The Internet is a valuable tool, and few of us would choose to go back to the slow search of the codex, but if we prefer not to bow before our computer overlords, we might remember that the Internet is still, and only, a tool, and treat it as such.

Buy a new or used copy of The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr at Dragon's Library.

Please Don't Feed the Trolls

2011-01-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, when I had first developed an interest in symbolism, a wise man explained to me the mytho-poetic location of a bridge: a place between places. It starts in one place, and takes you to another place, and in the middle, you are simply hanging over a place you cannot practically inhabit: a raging river or a gaping chasm or a busy highway. You are between places, en route, neither one nor the other.

Under the bridge is a precarious place: a negative place. Who dwells under bridges? In our culture, it’s people who have no better place to be: homeless folks may dwell under bridges for shelter, teenagers may take refuge there in pursuit of antisocial behavior. Gangs may stake out their territory under a bridge, as will animals. Under the bridge is outside of society. When Anthony Kiedis sang about being “Under the Bridge” he was singing about the absolute lowest point in his life, a place to which he wishes he had never gone, and hopes never to return. (Look it up.)

In mytho-poetic geography, under the bridge is the place where trolls dwell. Trolls are ugly creatures that live in darkness, emerging from the shadows only to feed on innocent travelers.

On the Internet, trolls are ugly creatures that dwell in darkness, emerging from the shadows only to harass innocent websurfers.

Trolls may seem harmless at first, particularly when they’re picking on the very weak: those lacking a basic understanding of grammar, spelling, history, geography, science, and math. “Well, they deserve it, the ignorant fools,” we may think. "Why don't they run a spellcheck/do a web search/go to Wikipedia?"

On the other hand, while trolling is very amusing for trolls, it does not make the Internet a nicer place to be, and it does not imbue the ignorant fools with a basic understanding of grammar, spelling, history, geography, science, and math. Rather than teaching to the deficits of the user, trolls exploit those deficits.

Trolling makes the Internet a stupider place.

If ignorance bothers you, doesn’t it make more sense to politely correct it, so that the potential troll-food becomes wiser, more informed, and less irksome to the know-it-all troll? If you disagree with others' beliefs, does japery convert others to your worldview, or force them to reexamine their own?

But trolls don’t care about making the Internet a nicer or smarter place. Trolls, in my experience, tend to be self-important blowhards who troll to feel better about their own lack of success. They are intelligent people who feel that the world has not handed them all the accolades they deserve, and rather than accepting their limitations, they empower themselves by hurting others.

They don’t all live in their mother’s basements. Some trolls are quite successful by most standards, but they feel robbed, angry not to have achieved the level of triumph and recognition that Ayn Rand promises they deserve. Their trolling moves beyond merely mocking teenagers for poor writing skills. Instead, they attack without provocation, treating every network as a platform for heckling. They hijack threads, take comments out of context, and view each forum as a medium to spread their own madness, all the while assuring themselves that they’re not really serious, they’re just having fun with stupid people. They’re trolls after all, and better and smarter than everyone else, and deserve to amuse themselves by demonstrating their superiority over the rest of the world.

They never question whether their beliefs actually are superior.

To a troll, anyone with a strongly held belief that does not perfectly match their own narrow worldview is an idiot, worthy of mockery, not deserving of respect, or even the courtesy of examining or understand the argument they’ve chosen to troll.

Many trolls do not believe in much, other than their right to excoriate others for a lark.

Any time a troll can insult or belittle someone else, the troll feels bigger. The only thing that gives a troll a greater sense of power than making fun of someone online is if others defend the original post, or attempt to engage the troll in a serious discussion about the validity of the belief or the appropriateness of sharing said belief in a particular forum.

Trolls imagine themselves on top, on sound footing at the end of a bridge, devouring fools. But the true place of the troll remains under the bridge: nowhere. Beneath nowhere. They think they’ve ascended to a point above everyone else. But in reality, they’re always rolling around in the muck and hurling nothing more than their own filth.

In fairy tales, trolls are often outwitted by children or animals.

On the Internet, anyone can outwit a troll. Simply do not engage. Ignoring a troll reduces its power. Don’t feed the trolls and eventually they starve to death.

Vice for the Holidays

2010-12-03T14:10:00.000-08:00

A few years back, I was asked to help a class of first graders learn about the Jewish holiday of Hanuka. The children heard an abbreviated version of the Hanuka story, learned about the candle-lighting tradition, ate some latkes, and played dreidel.

After a few rounds of dreidel, many of the kids, unfamiliar with the concept of gambling at their tender age, had the same complaint: This game isn’t fair.

It’s a game of chance, with no skill involved. No, it’s not fair. And, I would argue, the actual playing of the game is not relevant.

What’s the connection of the dreidel game to the Hanuka holiday? When the Israelites were living under Syrian occupation, they were forbidden from studying Torah. Like girls in Afghanistan who pretended their schools were sewing circles whenever the Taliban dropped by, the Israelites found an innocuous cover story for their gatherings. “Study? Why no, officer. We’re just playing this delightful game of chance in which the outcome of a spinning top’s fall determines the redistribution of our meager resources.”

I have my own peculiar take on gambling, forged in a childhood where gambling was the nucleus of the biggest family secret. In a nutshell, I think betting on anything is stupid. And I think a children’s game in which kids are given money (or, in our case M&Ms) and told to gamble for the sake of their cultural heritage, is more stupid. For the most part, we were only playing to fill the time before the sufganyot were done, after which the M&Ms would be sticky with jelly and we’d eat the pot.

The Maccabees and that crowd weren’t really playing dreidel. They were just hiding their true intentions. Hanuka’s not about money or presents. It’s about studying. Aside from the acronym on modern dreidels, the four letter mnemonic that stands for the Hebrew phrase translated as, “A great miracle happened there,” there’s not much that’s interesting or educational about an actual game of dreidel.

My advice? This year, forget the disappointing game that causes some kids to lose all their money to some other kid. Instead, teach your kids about civil disobedience. Explain to them the incredible privilege that is freedom of information. Reveal to them the great lengths to which various people have historically gone to obtain an education that has been denied them by a stubborn and corrupt society.

Also, teach them that gambling is stupid.

Crystal Body Deodorant

2010-10-05T17:27:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend recently purchased a stick of all-natural deodorant, made of natural mineral salts and ammonium alum. It's a good alternative for those who worry about the safety of antiperspirant (some research suggests a link between those chemicals and Alzheimer's or cancer; some people are allergic to standard products) or if you just don't like the scent of other deodorants.

The company that produces Crystal Body Deodorant claims that the product neutralizes the bacteria that cause body odor. The product works well, can be used by men or women, and does not leave a mess on your black T-shirt if you accidentally combine the two. There is no problem with Crystal Body Deodorant.

Their logo, however, is hysterical.

So check it out. We've got a man and a women. They appear to be naked. That's cool--it's a unisex hygiene product, so that makes sense. The woman's face is lighted, but the man appears only in silhouette. But women are prettier than man, right? The man is flexing his prodigious bicep. The couple are holding what must be a stick of the product. And it looks more or less like the lady is helping the man apply deodorant to his underarm.

Huh?

Does this guy need help applying his deodorant? Is the women trying to tactfully tell him he stinks? If he's a bodybuilder, isn't he already aware of the effects of sweat? or am I perhaps in the minority of relationships where the woman does not help the man put on deodorant?

Most pressing question: how did these models keep a straight face during the shoot?

I don't know. What this picture is meant to communicate is uncertain. But it was too good to keep to myself.

2010-09-09T23:06:00.000-07:00

"Members of Iran's Kocholoha (small ones) soccer team attend a practice session in Tehran"

Pretty much no information about this team, at least none I could find. Everyone on the team is a little person, the team has existed for 2 years, and they are going to play an establish team of little soccer players from Brazil. Here's another pic:

Also, Little People, Big World just started its final season. I probably only watched a dozen episodes, none in the last couple years. Little people aside, it was still a reality show. But, for a reality show, it wasn't bad. Zach probably needs a break from his dad, anyway.

River Rock Martini Glasses... more Woodeye-Glassware Funkiness!

2010-08-06T02:01:00.000-07:00

River Rocks Custom Martini & Cocktail Shaker Set from Woodeye-Glassware.com

This site was originally not merely for the weird of the world, but also to spread the love for various literary, musical, and visual artists we dig. We have fallen out of that a bit, we all got busy with life and what not, but while I will be "spamming" the site with a lot of my glassware over the coming weeks, I also will be introducing other cool artists I dig. So hopefully our dozens of readers won't mind this self promotional excursion... and if ya do... to bad, just enjoy the ride!

Funky New Shooter Glasses from Woodeye Glassware

2010-08-04T12:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a little while since I posted here, but that's because I have been busy trying to make beautiful things... like these Bubbling Arrow shooter glasses! 4 inches tall, and each holding 2.5 oz, these glasses are perfect for enjoying your finest vodka, tequila, or favorite cordial. Handcrafted and featuring dishwasher safe glass paints, they can be made in any colors you can think of for no extra charge. Check out these and other unique glassware at my online gallery now!

Chupacabra's back!

2010-07-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the desert...

Alleged Chupacabras Shot in Barn!

According to the article, it's either a real dead example of the Mexican goat-sucker, or a couple of really ugly dogs. You decide!

George Lucas: Going to Hell, or Is He Just the Devil?

2010-07-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm as big a Star Wars fan as anyone. Possibly bigger. I don't castigate Lucas for the bizarre rerelease of the original trilogy with its incongruous replacement of funky Muppets with modern CGI. I think Episode I would have been just fine if they cut out all of Jar-Jar's nonessential lines (it's a movie, people, not a divine revelation: what the hell did you expect?). I even defend the casting/directing of Jake Lloyd: a lot of people criticize his performance as wooden, but as someone who has worked with mind-bogglingly gifted kids, I can attest that this is a pretty good portrayal. George Lucas did have an artistic vision, even if we disagree with how he expressed it.

The thing that damns Lucas, though, is his sad, overt pandering to younger and younger audiences for the purpose of merchandising. It's not enough to create tie-in toys for kids too young to watch the movies. He started by writing the Wookiee planet out of Episode VI and replacing that noble race with the lame but family-friendly Ewoks. And of course, there's this matter of Clone Wars, a television program for little kids that turns one of cinema's greatest villains into a hero and, furthermore, presents the completely fallacious proposition that adolescent girls in belly shirts can be taken seriously about anything, let alone respected as leaders, fighters, military strategists, or diplomats. Let me just point out that a) adolescent girls in belly shirts may get cast in music videos or knocked up by adolescent boys, but they never, ever get taken seriously and b) Anakin kills that kid in Episode III. They don't show it, but you know he chops her to pieces with a light saber. No way around that.

Which brings me to this: Star Wars: Spaceships.

It's a baby board book. About Star Wars. Baby board books, if you are unfamiliar with the genre, are sturdy cardboard books for infants and toddlers. They are designed to withstand drool and teething. Typically, they illustrate important early learning concepts like colors, numbers, and farm animals. But this one illustrates the differences among imaginary spaceships, with shiny designs that your baby will love to touch.

Ooh...star destroyers. If babies don't know about that before kindergarten, they will fall behind their classmates, whose parents have indoctrinated them from an early age. Plus, they won't know which toys to ask for. Because you know that there's a toy for every page of this book.

Man, there is all kinds of action in this book. "Blast off!" "Zoom!" "Zip!" There are TIE Fighters, X-wings, and everyone's favorite, the Millennium Falcon. And there is this, the killing blow:

Yes, the Death Star goes "BOOM!" and it has a "dangerous laser"! And it's capable of eradicating your home world and casually killing everyone you've ever loved in the name of overt displays of Imperial power!

Does your baby need to know about the Death Star? Is that what you want your toddler talking about in preschool? BOOM! What will the child psychologist say when junior starts talking about dangerous lasers?

Welcome to the Star Wars galaxy, where spaceships go zoom, zip, zap, and boom! And George Lucas indoctrinates your infant child's unformed mind to become a future consumer of licensed merchandise. Sure, he crossed the line from artist to panderer a long time ago, but this is damning. Just saying. Shame on you, Mr. Lucas.

Whoops!

2010-06-30T16:13:00.001-07:00

Wella, looks like I forgot to update this week. Not that there's any lack of weirdness; just been immersed in a few big SEO projects for work, plus a new blog for my art, which should launch pretty soon. Details to come...

In the meantime, why not check out my microfiction at Raincoat Flashera? Or, if you're looking for some cryptozoology links, why not order a copy of Sasquatch by Roland Smith? I read this book a couple months back, but I can't seem to find my review anywhere, even thought I'm SO SURE I wrote one, because I write a review for everything. It's a pretty sharp story.

Octopus Love

2010-06-13T15:09:00.001-07:00

Among my favorite of all creatures is the sinewy, hypnotic octopus. While individual octopi do not live very long, they are ancient creatures indeed, virtually indistinguishable from their ancestors 95 million years ago

The fortunate octopus is blessed with extra everything: 8 arms, 3 hearts, and, essentially, 9 brains, given that each of their arms requires an extra clump of neurons. They can change their color to blend into their environment; many of them can also shoot clouds of ink to befuddle predators and make a prestidigitatious escape.

Octopus intelligence is widely documented, along with some evidence of octopus humor. The octopus is capable of solving the problem of a simple latch, taking leave of its tank, walking around your home or lab when you're not looking, and returning to its tank before you catch it out of bounds. Many researchers have reported noting the contents of certain tanks mysteriously disappearing before discovering their their octopus has developed a habit of sneaking out and feasting on the other specimens at night. Octopus can be found all around the world, including Antarctica.

If you like octopuses, octopi, or octopodes, you may enjoy tonmo.com the online octopus magazine.

In unrelated news, some readers may be interested to know that the American Association of University Professors has sanctioned Antioch University. AAUP sanctions institutions "for infringement of governance standards after an AAUP investigation has revealed serious departures from generally accepted standards of college and university government endorsed by the AAUP."

Empathy

2010-06-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

Of surprise to very few people came the research that today's college student has measurably less empathy than those of the 20th century (see the metric and compare yourself to those kids). In my experience working with small children in the public schools, the trend is toward a kind of self-centered unreality, in which children are brought up to believe that they are the only important people, that others don't count, and that rules don't apply to them. (There are, however, brain scans to demonstrate that vegetarians have more empathy than the general population so we're not totally doomed. Yet.)

Much of this transition is being blamed on an adherence to video technologies. Without knowing more details, I will say that if TV and movies are more real to your children than your family, then they can't learn empathy. You need to feel for actual people, not pixels on a screen. TV and movies, for the most part, teach us to laugh at the misfortune of others).

Also this week, Joran Van der Sloot was accused of murdering another girl. Two years ago, this wealthy kid was implicated in the death of 18-year-old Natalee Holloway. He was released for lack of evidence, despite the video of him confessing to watching her die and asking a friend to dispose of her body. And now he claims that, although he brought 21-year-old Stephany Flores back to his hotel room in Peru, where she was found dead after he had fled the country, he is being falsely accused. Again.

I grew up on Chicago's North Shore, a magical land immortalized in such classes films as Ferris Bueler's Day Off and Risky Business, and, although Hollywood exaggerates, it doesn't exaggerate that much. I can tell you a few things about children being raised to equate their parents' money with a special status that exempts them from the rules.

But this is the example that sticks most in my mind. As a professional writer, I often work in conjunction with an SEO expert whose clients have specific goals, typically to achieve a higher SERP ranking. And a few years back, I was offered a peculiar job.

It seems that a very rich teenager committed a very ugly crime: a violent physical attack on a girl in his school for rich teenagers. It was big news. The kid, his parents, and his lawyers had all kinds of excuses for why this kid did what he did, and why it wasn't his fault, and why he wasn't a criminal, and why he shouldn't be held accountable for his actions. They had the money to protect the kid.

That's not all they had the money to do. You see, it was such big news that you couldn't Google this kid's (unfortunate and unusual) name , or anything close to it, or any of the details of the crime, without hitting a link that described, in graphic detail, the sick thing he did to his classmate. And this rich boy's parents did not think that was fair, since this would prevent their son (who, being rich, could not be held accountable to the rules that governed other, less special people's behavior) from leading the privileged life they had planned out for him. They wanted to bury the evidence of his crime with money.

Now, you cannot erase things from the Internet. You can delete pages, but pages are cached, and copied, and no reputable news source will delete news for money. All you can do is bury search results. Create enough content with your keywords, and your new content ranks on SERP, which the old content is buried so deep no one will see it. And I was asked, for money, to create enough content in this rich kid's name to bury the documentation of his crime. Then he could go to college and become a lawyer without anyone Googling his name and discovering the sick thing he had done, without remorse, as a teenager.

The money being offered for this gig was pretty amazing. And I had to decline. Because this is fucking wrong. But this is what is happening. All over the world. Guilty people are buying their way out of despicable pasts. This is not new; guilty rich people have always been able to buy get out of jail free cards. What is new is the growing number of people who don't feel responsible to the rest of the world, who don't care about or believe in the feelings of others, who consider themselves above the rest of the world.

That's sad.

Is Van der Sloot's number finally up? His rich father is no longer around to protect him; they say his money's running out. The father of the second murdered girl is wealthy, and angry, and convinced that he needs to punish the kid for both murders. So maybe we'll see justice after all.

More to the point, maybe one person will look at the trajectory of Van der Sloot's life and ask themselves what went wrong, and what they can do to keep their own kid off that path.

Empathy.

Geek Chic

2010-05-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

This week's news, as you probably know, is terribly depressing and hardly worth rehashing. Instead, let's all be quietly amused by my boyfriend's son's bicycle.

Of course, he chose a yellow and black, which just so happens to be the same color combination as his daddy's bike. But what quietly amuses me is the bike's theme. While boys' bikes have always chosen tough, manly elements for decoration, you will note that the name and theme of this bike is pretty modern. His bike is the Decoder.

Talk about another huge step for the geeks of this world! Being able to moderate between the world of computers and the world of human communication, it seems, is the tough and manly accomplishment of the 21st century.

Look closer:

It's binary!

Now, I'm not a geek (I'm a nerd) so I don't know what, if anything, it actually says. Do you have to know anything about binary to code? Who cares! If you're a computer programmer, that is now synonymous with ruggedness, adventure, and freedom!

Life! Cue thunder, mad scientist laughter

2010-05-23T12:46:00.000-07:00

Like I said last week, I love all that old-timey science fiction, and it's amazing to consider the advances of my lifetime. When my boyfriend holds up his phone, gives it a verbal command, and receives, in a few seconds, whatever information he needed, I really get the sensation of living in the future. On the other hand, I wish he'd put the damn thing down when he's driving.

Anyway, this week's huge science news involves the always exceptional J Craig Venter Institute, where scientists have successfully created artificial DNA, injected it into a cell, and watched that cell replicate. Artificial life! (In a sense.)

This announcement was immediately followed by a call to ban any such research.

Look, it's too late to put the genie back in the bottle. Might be one thing if we had a pristine environment, if we weren't already past the point of no return in climate change. Perhaps then I could see the point of worrying. But now...this technology could eventually create organisms that ate oil floating on the ocean, or that excreted a perfect fuel source, or fixed nitrogen in the soil, or, I don't know, cured cancer. Point is, we are so far past the point of saying, "we can't mess with nature." Nature is already messed. All we can do now is maybe forge through to the point of patching it back up.

I have long believed that our genetic code is, to those who can read it, a sort of novel about life. In the past 50 years, we have begun to learn the ABCs of DNA. And now we're at the point that we can spell C-A-T and M-O-M. Have you ever watched a kid learning to read? It's amazing. And so is this.

Of course, useful results are a long way off. But you don't stop your kindergartener from learning to read because someday he might write an unflattering tell-all exposé about your lousy child-rearing. You encourage the kid to keep going, and hope that what they write turns out to be Pulitzer material.

The First Rule of Robot Fight Club...

2010-05-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well, my new system works too well and this week's list of weird links is far too long to provide full coverage of them all. So let's narrow it down a bit. Robots and aliens!

I've always been a huge fan of that old-school style of science fiction: boys with spaceships, tentacle aliens, girls in distress. A very old-fashioned aesthetic of the future, if you will. I adore the old Robert Heinlein, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and, of course, the remarkable mind of Ray Bradbury.

(Check out this response to Stephen Hawking's recent assertions about hostile aliens Or click here for new stories from Area 51)

The writer I don't get, however, is Isaac Asimov. I know he was great, genius, brilliant, the only guy to have books published in 9 out of 10 categories in the Dewey Decimal System. But his fiction simply doesn't sing to me.

Here's the number one thing I don't get: his laws of robotics.

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Even when I was a little kid, these made no sense to me. Yes, sure, you could program a robot not to harm humans or to obey any humans (although this doesn't cover what the robot should do if given mutually exclusive orders) but how could this be an underlying foundation of robot behavior? I always thought the laws of robotics ought to have to do with circuits or relays or something: a scientific truth, not a set of commands.

First of all, let's face it, the number one underwriter of new technology is the military-industrial complex. If we're going to have robots that are capable of carrying out orders, it will be because the military has created robot soldiers. And if someone creates a robot advanced enough to do what it's told for domestic purposes, the military will be quick to reprogram the thing with bellicose intent. Trust me; I've dated engineers. There is no idea that a smart guy with a financial incentive can't weaponize.

Second, even if someone created a robot and programmed it with these laws, how long do you think it would take to "jailbreak" the thing? It would be two days before someone bought a peaceful robot and reprogrammed the thing to kill.

Of course, robots in our world aren't quite as smart as Asimov's robots. They do what they're told. A robot that stamps, or cuts, or burns will continue stamping, cutting, or burning if some human is stupid enough to get in its way. The robot will not, most likely, even realize that it is stamping, cutting, burning a human, rather than a piece of sheet metal.

Which brings us to today's really weird article: for some reason, these researchers decided to study robots maiming humans. And they got actual human volunteers to be struck, stabbed, and punctured by "slasher-bots". You can't make this stuff up. But you can ask: why? Why? WHY?

Robots can go either way, though. For the time being, at least, they do what we tell them to do, whether that's love or war. From the "it could only happen in Japan" file: last week, a couple used a robot officiant at their wedding.

::Hangs Head in Shame::

2010-05-15T22:03:00.001-07:00

Sorry that almost every single link in last week's post was broken. They're fixed now. I think.

New post tomorrow! I think.

Forward Thinking

2010-05-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

Oh, we’re back? We’re back. It’s Sunday once again. What’s going on in the world? Super fast rockets! Cheap hydrogen fuel! Genetic proof that modern humans totally got it on with Neanderthals. We fixed that hole in the ozone layer so good it’s contributing to global warming!

What an interesting world we live in. In more gripping news, Stephen Colbert rips on Stephen Hawking.

More of a humanities person? Check out Curious Pages. It’s like if In the Weird were a book review site. And, in the “destroying our cherished childhood icons” category, the award goes to a planned sequel to The Dark Crystal. That’s just what this world needs: the enraged ghost of Jim Henson crying in his bier. So to speak.

OK, so remember kids, you can’t trust crack addicts or politicians. That’s why you’ve gotta question the logic of a crack addict turned politician who claims we can stop people from doing drugs by outlawing drug paraphernalia. First of all, no. And second of all, no. For one thing, drug paraphernalia is already outlawed, for the most part. And while I can’t speak to the mindset of the crack addict, not knowing any crack addicts, I can quote a line well-known to most pot smokers: “Marijuana use doesn’t leads to hard drugs; it leads to carpentry.” If a person wants to smoke marijuana and doesn’t have a fancy bong, that will not stop that person from smoking marijuana. They will carve a pipe from a piece of wood, or stone. They will carve a pipe from an apple or a carrot. They will roll a joint with pages from Gideon’s Bible or the phone book. They will heat two knives in the element of an electric stove and use a paper towel tube to seal the deal. They will smoke out of a soda can (not recommended) or a honey bear or make a bad-ass gravity bong from a milk jug and a bucket of ice water. They will cook their weed with some clarified butter, throw out the weed and eat the butter. Even if they have pipes, they are likely to do the above, or at least attach a gas mask to the old water pipe, just for laughs. The human race has been ingesting cannabis for at least 6000 years, and has received the benefits of all kinds of creative wisdom from the plant. There is literally nothing you can do to prevent people from getting high. Best bet? Mind your own business and spend your time and money going after criminals (i.e. people whose actions in some way harm other people).

Ah, forget I said anything. Just relax and enjoy this exquisite National Geographic photo gallery of sea anemones. Lovely!

Sperm and other helpful information

2010-05-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, we're back, and it's time once again for the week in weird. So much weirdness this week; it was hard to choose.

Let's start with the weird natural world: three hard-hitting links from National Geographic. First, we have some amusing research regarding cooperation among sperm. Apparently, in at least one mouse species where promiscuity is the norm, related sperm will join together in a strange, Cthulhoid conglomeration, enabling them to swim faster and beat other sperm to the egg. Of course, once they reach their mark, it's every cell for himself. Bonus Points for this image of a sperm clump dyed green to fluoresce under ultraviolet light.

Then we have the news that, for the first time scientists have discovered water ice on an asteroid. And we'll round out the NG trifecta with this photo gallery. While it's not as wildly funny as last week's octopus video, the lioness that stole the robot camera from researchers took her own pictures of the environment. She killed the camera, too.

Everyone should be aware of this report: anti-depressants don't really work. And drug companies bury the studies that prove it. Depression is a symptom and there's no magic pill to make it go away, as anyone who's watched a friend or a loved one turn into a nonresponsive zombie on SSRIs or other psychotropic drugs will attest.

In censorship news, psychotic obsessive helicopter parent challenges Jeff Smith's Bone. Once again, an example of a censor who has no fucking idea what the hell it is they want censored. Anyone who's ever read this comic knows that it's absolutely for children, and that a black and white drawing of a dragon with a cigar in its mouth will neither corrupt your child, nor compel him to smoke a cigar. Don't even get us started on the dangerous influence of cattle racing.

Finally, etiquette expert Elizabeth Post has passed away. I will forego any comments regarding the death of etiquette. Etiquette, in fact, died on Christmas morning, 1997. Savvy readers will recall that this was the moment when every asshole in America got a cell phone.

There’s good weird, bad weird, and weird weird.

2010-04-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

Good Weird

This link will take you to a wonderful video collaboration between a scuba diver and an octopus. The scuba diver did not intend to give the octopus creative control of the picture, but the octopus had its own artistic vision. Two thumbs up. Or eight tentacles.

This link goes to the Bilerico blog, which provides multiple articles every day on LGBQT topics. There aren’t a lot of places IRL or on the web where trans people have a voice, so, whether you’re trying to be less ignorant, or looking for a good source of queer news and opinions, it’s worth a click.

Bad Weird

After 9/11, everyone loved New York, and everyone in New York was a hero, right? The days of New Yorkers being thought of as heartless and self-involved were over, right? That Kitty Genovese thing was totally in the past, right? Nah. Just yesterday, a homeless guy got shot while foiling a mugging, and dozens of people walked right past him as he bled out and died on the sidewalk.

Way to go, human race!

Weird Weird

This Vigilant Citizen guy really cracks me up. We’re talking about a guy who has the academic wherewithal to recognize clever use of symbolism in popular culture, but lacks the discriminatory capacity to understand that symbols are a hallmark of human culture, and that not every reference in every song, video, or film is directly placed by the Freemasons or the Illuminati.

To my way of thinking, Freemasons and Illuminati are kind of passé scapegoats. Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson’s seminal Illuminatus! trilogy was published in 1975. Dan Brown kind of jumped the shark, if you know what I mean. But if you’re looking for a good laugh, check out his article explaining Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video. Or just read the comments on his articles.

And, in closing, those of us who enjoy spec fic love the idea of making contact with friendly aliens, or perhaps triumphing over hostile ones. Leave it to Stephen Hawking to point out that we're more likely to encounter aliens who could kick our ass and contact isn't such a great idea. Bonus! This link includes an embedded video: Color Pulse’s viral “Glorious Dawn” remix. Carl Sagan really rocks (thanks to the auto-tuner).

Babies, Mommies, and Daddies

2010-04-18T16:35:00.001-07:00

Now that tax season is over and this Dragon can sit back, relax, and wait for her first time home buyer's tax credit (!) In the Weird should have much more brainspace available to comb the Internet and return to you, the consumer, some weird stuff.

We've even developed a more efficient method that might actually result in this site's being updated on a regular basis. That would be weird. We'll believe it when we see it.

Today's link takes us across the pond, where researchers at Newcastle University have merged the DNA of two eggs to create embryos with two biological moms. This, of course, could end the incidence of mitochondrial genetic disorders including certain types of diabetes, neuropathy, and ataxia, along with a bunch of syndromes most of us are lucky to never have heard of.

Of course, taking this science any further (you know...as in letting that embryo develop into an actual human baby) is still illegal in most of the developed world, because god forbid humans fuck with "god's plan." To which we at In the Weird say, we'll consider your point of view when "god's plan" stops fucking with us.

But speaking of parentage, my parents have a business based on chemical consulting and science-themed parties. Their shows are actually hella cool if you like seeing things blow up, or glow in the dark, or levitate. That sort of stuff. You can read more about Eureka Discoveries here. Or you can check out their FaceBook fan page.

Eureka Discoveries

Promote Your Page Too

If you live in the greater Chicagoland area, or like educating intelligent kids, or enjoy learning about the magic of science, you may already be a fan of Eureka Discoveries. Go to FaceBook and make it official.

Duder Builds a Disney-esque SF Out of Toothpicks

2010-04-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Pretty fantastic picture! Along with all the realistic and eye-popping details, this model also includes streets for ping pong balls to drive down. Yes, this is what happens when people become completely obsessed with their hobbies. Click the title to see a video.

The Moth Podcast is Killer Stuff

2010-03-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

The free podcast from TheMoth.org is amazing. The one from March 22nd was simply riveting: a female sailor's brutal 20-minute tale of survival while lost at sea. Click title for direct .mp3 link or go to iTunes and download it, free! Fantastic episode!

World's Smallest Man Dies

2010-03-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Standing a mere 30 inches high, He Pingping was officially the world's shortest man until his unexpected death at the age of 21. A native of Mongolia, Pingping passed away of apparent heart trouble Monday in Italy, where he had traveled to make a television appearance.

He Pingping poses with the world's tallest man, Sultan Kösen

Thank you for making the world a weirder and more magical place simply by existing in it, Pingping!

In related news, Guinness World Record is expected to announce shortly the new record holder, most likely Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal.

In unrelated news, check out the latest thing in brain-computer interface!

Me-yow!

2010-03-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

In our efforts to bring to you, dear reader, the most engaging sites on the Interwebz, we are willing to sacrifice our own precious time, sifting through the chaff so you don't have to.

This week, we consider the power of facial recognition and alteration apps. Granted, there are many sites that do interesting things with your photographs: age them, change their gender, morph them with those of celebrities. Recently, we checked out an app that promised to produce a composite image to answer the question: What will my baby look like?

Simply upload your own photograph, along with an image of your intended. The site even offers a number of celebrity photos, although it's hard to imagine how a photograph of Michael Jackson in the last years of his life would give any software an idea of what Michael Jackson's possible offspring might look like. With a single click, you can generate a baby photo.

How does this work? Well, you can be the judge.

Here is the composite of your humble content provider, and your humble content provider's boyfriend.

Well, who's to say? Granted, this photo does not resemble your humble content provider as a child, nor does it resemble your humble content provider's boyfriend as a child, nor does it resemble the children your humble content provider's boyfriend has already produced. Perhaps we can wait a few years and then compare.

But, for another perspective, we ran a second set of photographs into the app. This, then, is the answer to the question, "If my cat impregnated Angelina Jolie, what would the resultant offspring look like?"

Well, there you have it, folks. Little Catalina Jolie Gardencat doesn't share his mother's striking beauty or his father's furry face, but he's quite the charmer. Or, as your humble content provider's brother wondered, "Would this baby lick its private parts in public or adopt a lot of children?"

Graffiti: A Mark of Class and Distinction

2010-02-23T16:06:00.000-08:00

Who thinks graffiti is awesome?

Don't bother raising your hands. I can just tell by the paint stains on your fingers.

What a wonderful sense of power you must feel as you express yourself and show the world that you, an otherwise ordinary teenager, have the ability to write your name on other people's property. What a festive air your illegible scrawls add to any neighborhood. What a wonderful demonstration of the triumph of the public school system.

Certainly, the homeowner would not have built such a boring, pristine wall if they did not intend for you to improve it with your sophomoric decorative ability. Yes, tagging is a great boon to everyone. People love seeing your handiwork livening up an otherwise antiseptic area. How generous of you to share your "art" with the world, for free, in spaces where everyone can see it.

If you really think tagging is fun, though, you should probably try to share the experience and bring it home, so you can enjoy it as much as those people whose views you have so lovingly graffitied. Why not invite adults—me, for example—over to your home? Show me your bedroom. Let me take stock of all your most prized possessions, those materials objects for which you have worked the hardest, saved the longest. I want you to experience that same sensation I feel when I see the gift you've left on my fence.

I'll bring my Sharpie. Indelible ink is so much fun. Once you let me know which objects you have toiled so hard to earn, I will demonstrate my ability to write my name on your stuff. Isn't that great? Now you can understand the joy I feel when I see your juvenile territorial markings.

Oh, wait, I forgot. You're a teenager. You probably don't have any expensive stuff, and if you do, you probably didn't work to earn it, and if you did, you are most likely not blessed with the free time and amoral creativity that possesses some adolescents to uglify other peoples' things with their name.

Yes, you certainly have made that fence your own, much in the same way that my cat has also taken possession of the same real estate by urinating upon it. Congratulations.

Things That Are Awesome

2010-02-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

Dragon's list for February 15, 2010.

Recent awesome:

This Indonesian dragon is incredibly awesome. I know that its wings are skin flaps, which it would spread to glide from tree to tree, and that it was collected in Buton, Indonesian, but I can't find any more information about it. If you know anything, tell me in comments!

These plush microbes from ThinkGeek.com are awesome. Give your friends herpes, rabies, plague, and more!

From top to bottom: a brain cell, beer yeast, and E coli. Click here to collect them all!

Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809 – April 15, 1865), 16th president of the United States, was just unspeakably awesome. Happy President's Day, everyone.

Dinosaurs, sexbots, and liquor, oh my!

2010-02-05T15:45:00.001-08:00

It's time once again for a look at the news. You certainly don't have anything better to do than laugh at the world, or you wouldn't be here.

First off, we have the miraculous discover of Shackleton's whisky. It seems that when the polar explorer departed from the antarctic, he left behind five cases of booze. And, according to experts on the subject, this century-old liquor was made with a lost recipe. And modern analysis will allow us to recreate this recipe. And modern seekers of the pure water of life will be able to taste history! This is almost as exciting as the news about polar fungus that is slowly destroying the buildings Shackleton once took shelter in.

Next, we have the exciting news that fossil remains of pigment sacs called melanosomes are helping scientists determine what color some dinosaurs actually were. Every year, dinosaurs look more and more like birds.

Complicating the debate on consciousness is new research demonstrating that, in some cases, it is possible to communicate with vegetative patients by scanning their brains after asking yes or no questions. We're just dying to see where this goes.

And last but not least...sexbots! Yeah, we're a little bit late with this one, but in case you haven't already heard, your $6000 Real Doll is now obsolete. For a few thousand more, you can have Roxxxy, the doll that holds your hands, carries on a conversation, and has orgasms. She is programmed with five different personalities, depending on your preference, is wifi ready, and can receive software updates. Now you have another excuse for being a great big nerd who never gets off the Internet! Yay!

RIP Howard Zinn

2010-01-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

If you've never read A People's History of the United States, now would be an excellent time to do so. Radical, controversial genius Howard Zinn passed away yesterday at the age of 87. A lifelong activist and celebrated revisionist, he spoke openly for the rights of those suffering from injustice, and worked to shed light on subjects left long hidden in the dark.

It's Hard to Stay Weird

2010-01-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

Seriously, why do I keep blogging? There's a million crickets chirping in the night. There's maybe six sets of ears listening. And three of those pairs probably belong to cricket-eating predators. Who cares?

It's great that some folks are blogging for a better day. It's great that you can text "HAITI" to 90999 and donate $10 to the Red Cross. No fuss, no muss, just that great feeling that you've done something. It's great that Americans, dredging themselves out of an economic depressive, can offer lip service, money, and action to the billions of people less fortunate than we are. It's easy to feel like you've made a contribution.

On the other hand, it's easy to forget that there was a massive tragedy in Haiti because the developed world has spent FIVE HUNDRED YEARS ignoring millions of small tragedies taking place every single day. A country that once looked like nothing so much as paradise on earth, is 95% deforested. It took a slave revolution to create two centuries of dictatorship and social unrest. Even before 200,000 people died in an earthquake, living in Haiti was not easy.

And the same things are going to continue happening: in Haiti, in Indonesia, in Africa, in America. Every day, little kids and young women are being sold into sexual slavery. Every day, profit-minded business people are exploiting environments and cultures they don't live in to squeeze out a few extra dollars. Every day, organized crime is wielding untoward influence and negating the potential for peace. There is war and ethnic violence and a growing gap between the rich and the poor, while the planet's resources are sullied, wasted, hoarded.

And a million crickets are chirping in the night.

Anyway, happy effing New Year. Now that this is out of my system, we'll try to return to our regularly scheduled program of mayhem and mirth.

The Dead Zone

2009-12-29T11:43:00.001-08:00

If you pay any attention to web analytics, you're well aware that Internet traffic begins to drop off around Thanksgiving. Sure, you have your cyber Monday shoppers (not to mention your last-minute-can-you-send-that-express shoppers) along with all those happy bloggers posting photographs of their adorable grandchildren's first Christmas, their cats wearing festive hats, their great-aunt Tildy's gingerbread recipe, and all the snow from which they just dug out their car, but by and large, after Thanksgiving, most of us are too busy getting ready for the end of December to kill fifteen minutes online.

Of course, the deadest of the dead time is...this week. Students are still enjoying quality time with their families before they head back to school for the new semester. Young couples are still enjoying fabulous tropical vacations without a care in the world. A lot of us are off work, and don't need the distraction of the Internet to fill up our otherwise meaningless work days, and those of us who do have to work this week, well, those folks are working. Mostly taking care of the rest of us.

So blogging the last week of December hardly seems worth it. But then again, if you know anything about web analytics, you're well aware that Google doesn't go on vacation. Google's working as hard as ever, crawling your pages and ranking them. Google has no family to go home to. Google doesn't take a break, and if you want Google to notice you, you can't take a break either.

Merry, Merry

2009-12-21T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today is the winter solstice, and all across the northern hemisphere, celebrations are underway. The light will turn, the days grow longer. Winter, though perhaps just getting started, will assuredly end. Only a mere 3 months to the vernal equinox!

Many people choose the holiday season to donate to charity or volunteer their time, but, since I volunteer approximately 10 hours a week during the school year, it's time for me to take a break from doing good and spend 2 weeks taking care of myself.

This year, I've been acting as volunteer librarian at a local elementary school, which puts me in close proximity to 100s of developing minds. On Thursday afternoon, shortly before the beginning of break, an inquisitive 4th grader asked about my Christmas plans. I explained to her that I was Jewish, because that was much easier than detailing my actual spiritual beliefs, which could fill a book, or be summed up with the word, "pantheist." Neither explanation seemed suitable.

After a few minutes, my young friend came back. "What do Jewish people do on Christmas, anyway?"

"I enjoy the silence," I told her.

"You like that?"

"Very much."

In reality, there are Jewish Christmas traditions. Jewish people, like other people, go to movies on Christmas day. I have a friend whose tradition is to see 3 movies every Christmas. What else is there to do? We have no compulsion to spend quality time with our families.

(In fact, my parents were married on Christmas Day, so you'd think we would be forced to do quality time, but that's not our tradition. As a child, we spent both Christmas and New Year's Day in the airport. They are excellent times to fly: there are few travelers, many seats, and no fare blackouts.)

But in fact, there is another Christmas tradition celebrated by Jews around the country, and it is this: we eat in Chinese restaurants.

No joke.

Think of it. The goyim, as we say, are otherwise occupied. The Chinese owners are often Buddhist and have no reason to close. Across America, Jewish families (those whose kashruth is sketchy or nonexistent) are enjoying fried rice and egg drop soup in virtually empty restaurants, where there is no waiting for tables, and the service is attentive and excellent.

This is no secret in the Jewish community. Anyone raised with the least snippet of assimilation, any Jewish kid whose family allowed them to eat in non-kosher restaurants, has enjoyed the warm hospitality of the Christmas Day Chinese feast. The snow falls gently outside. The TV above the bar plays only pleasant footage. The steam from the teapot wafts gently over the table. And we Jews escape the commercialism, the forced joviality, and the implication that our religion was hijacked some 2000 years ago. Through the grace of the open-on-Christmas Chinese restaurant, Jewish Americans experience the true meaning of Christmas.

Crispy egg rolls and fortune cookies.

Excuse me. Family togetherness.

Yum.

Weird enough for ya?

2009-12-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Here's a heartwarming human interest piece to delight this holiday season: 98-year-old woman strangles 100-year-old roommate.

Yes, I recall, ages ago the drama of junior high, the torment of girl against girl. I recall thinking wistfully to myself, "Someday we'll all grow up and all this childish bullshit will be a thing of the past."

No! I'm here to tell you, it never ends! Some people will never grow up! Thirteen lives in the heart of us all.

To Serve Mankind

2009-11-22T11:06:00.001-08:00

As you can see, this image comes from My First Fail: Adorable Funny Baby Photos, where you can see pictures of kids being kids (as opposed to the rest of the Internet, where we see pictures of kids trying to be adults) as well as pictures of kids whose parents don't love them very much. But obviously, this kid's parents adore him.

Or possibly his grandparents. You know: "You're so cute! I'll eat you up!"

But children are irresistibly delicious. Everyone knows that. They usually come pre-seasoned with sugar. Their flesh is delicately marbled. They're not full of hormones and antibiotics and steroids. They're free from disease. If you're going to engage in cannibalism, you want to eat a child. Grown-ups are stringy and bitter.

Come to think of it, it's a wonder any of us make it to adolescence, given how yummy we are.

Good things come in small packages?

2009-11-18T16:10:00.001-08:00

I don't have anything to add to this story about a very small woman giving birth. I just wanted to post her photograph.

Isn't she amazing? According to the article she's currently "as wide as she is tall." Lots of medical details in the link, plus photos of the whole family.

I Am a Credit Card Deadbeat...

2009-11-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

...and you can, too!

All kidding aside, I am a credit card deadbeat, and have been for over 17 years. In fact, from the first moment credit was issued in my name, I've been a deadbeat.

That is to say, my credit card company never makes a penny off of me. In fact, I make money off of them. It's too easy. Choose a card that offers cash back on all your purchases. Only buy things you would buy if you didn't have credit. Pay off the balance, in full, every month.

I know it's opposite what most Americans have been taught, but I was brought up with this bizarre, unamerican ideal: if you can't afford something you don't buy it.

Radical. I know.

Now, clearly this does not help folks with unexpected, unavoidable expenses like medical bills (that's another post) but at the same time, Americans' use of credit, and our desire to possess expensive things is ridiculous. If you have $6000 and you need a car, it's just stupid to blow it all on a down payment for a fancy new car and then add thousands of dollars to the price of the car and hundreds of dollars to your monthly expenses. You're much better off buying a decent $5000 car and using that extra money to fix it up so it's completely reliable. No monthly payment. No interest payments. No debt.

That's how I roll. Plus, I've been driving the same car for 11 years.

Don't buy crap you don't need. Don't pay more than you can afford for the stuff you do buy. Don't use credit to give yourself the trappings of a live you don't live. Don't accrue debt to maintain a "lifestyle."

I've heard that credit card companies hate people like me, but I receive, on average, three solicitations a week, all from major credit card companies, practically begging me to take out a line of credit. They all want my business, although I have always lived below the poverty level.

In addition, my credit card company is a good friend. When I do, occasionally, make a late payment, I simply call them up and apologize, and they check my record, see that I always pay my debt, and they erase any late fees I've accrued. It's true. Further, if I ever have a dispute with a merchant regarding something purchased with my credit card, I call the credit card company and they solve the problem for me. In fact, on occasion, all I had to do was threaten a merchant with my credit card company, and they fixed a problem they swore could not be fixed.

Now that I'm in the process of buying a house, some people have tried to encourage me to borrow just a little bit more money. How much easier the process would be with a little extra. It's true. But I won't do it. I've borrow the exact amount of money I can afford. My mortgage payment will be similar to my rent. My house will not be a mansion. It will be a house I can afford. It will be the first debt I've ever taken on.

A lot of people are cutting up their credit cards, declaring, "Never again." But most of us have the power to take control over our own finances. Be stronger than the desire to consume.

Choo-choo!

2009-11-11T16:09:00.000-08:00

Here's one small step: Road Trains!

Up to eight vehicles, including cars, trucks, and buses, would all be linked to a lead vehicle. The lead vehicle steers, while the drivers of the other vehicles relax and enjoy the ride. Fuel consumption is cut by 20%, and congestion is cut as well, since vehicles in a road train take up less space.

We're still counting on the coming energy revolution to cut the need for fossil fuels down to nothing, but for the time being, what a great idea. Trials are to begin in Europe in the next few years.

Romantic Little Getaway

2009-11-03T18:30:00.001-08:00

Are you and your sweetie ready to do something none of your friends have ever done? Tired of taking boring vacation photos? Got a cool nine million to blow?

May we suggest you book a room at the space hotel?

No, it's not quite open for business, but the architects of The Galactic Suite Space Resort believe they'll be open for business in 2012, and they've already taken 43 reservations, with hundreds more interested consumers.

No word yet on food or entertainment, but visitors to the Galactic Suite Space Resort will be treated to 15 sunrises and sunsets every day. Complimentary Velcro suits will allow them to crawl around in zero gravity by sticking to the walls.

Here's the breakdown: 4.4 million dollars per person gets you 8 weeks of space training on a tropical island, followed by a rocket ride to the orbiting pod 280 miles above the Earth, which you will share with 3 other guests and 2 trained pilots for the next 3 days. Your rocket remains docked to the capsule so you always know where to find your ride home.

Too rich for you? For a mere $200,000, ordinary citizens will soon be able take day trips into space: sub-orbital flights on the Virgin Galactic rocket line, departing from the New Mexico Spaceport of America (still under construction).

Skeptics claim there is no way the hotel will be ready by 2012, but no one ever got anywhere with that attitude. This writer still recalls being a young schoolgirl in the 80s, working on a project about the year 2000, by which time, she predicted, we would have moon bases inhabited by thriving cities of people engaged in research. While this did not come to pass, it was not out of the realm of possibility. Neither is the space hotel!

Learn more.

Give til it...moos?

2009-10-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

With the holiday season almost upon us, In the Weird would like to suggest an alternative form of gift-giving. If your father has enough cologne to freshen up a football league and your mother, like mine, wants nothing more than the family to get together, without fighting, may we suggest a gift that makes the world a better place?

Heifer International is a group that facilitates the donation of life-saving livestock to impoverished people around the world. While your great-aunt probably doesn't need another quilted bathroom, the gift of a single goat could mean the difference between life and death to a family in Africa. This organization has been successfully helping families, individuals, and communities since 1944.

Avoid the drama llama!

Depending on your circumstances, you can donate a single animal, a group of animals, or a share in an animal. Cows, goats, sheep, llamas, chickens, rabbits, guinea pigs, water buffaloes, pigs, honeybees, and trees are all available if you want to make a difference. Your gift includes training for the family that receives it, so they can learn how to take care of their animals, get lessons in sustainable agriculture, microbusiness, and community development. If your gift is fruitful and multiplies, the new baby animals are donated again, so the entire community benefits.

Your own family members receive holiday cards describing the gifts that have been given in their honor. You receive the sense of well-being that comes from eschewing conspicuous consumption and doing something that benefits others.

Want to know more? Check out Meaningful Gifts from Heifer International.

Interview with Nova Ren Suma

2009-10-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

Nova Ren Suma is the author of Dani Noir, a classic tale of lies, deception, and betrayal, transformed into black and white through the eyes of thirteen-year-old protagonist Danielle Callanzano. Dani is always the hero of her own story, and the story she tells herself is that she has been wronged. In the movies, virtue is always clear cut, lies are always revealed, and retribution always carries the end of the picture, but Dani knows that real life is nothing like that. In real life, people, her father, for example, lie and get away with it. She knows the rules are different, and they don't make any sense:

It's complicated, people tell me, like I can't understand the huge messes grown-ups makes of relationships.

But I do understand.

I understand how--in the movie--you walk away at the end knowing who the bad guy is. It's not like in real life when you walk around all confused, wondering if you're the bad one for hating them.

Dani refuses to be party to deception. In fact, she is determined to expose all lies. No man will betray a woman again on her watch, especially not the fly-by-night film projectionist who's dating her former babysitter, so Dani sets foot upon her own path of intrigue. Armed with the knowledge of the greatest femmes fatales ever to grace the silver screen, and her own interpretation of right and wrong, how can she fail?

The difference between cinema and reality is vast, and yet, sometimes, the flickering lights on the screen have more of an effect on our decisions than we like to admit. It is the compelling heroines who are unafraid to expose their own faults in the end, rather than disappear into the night. Dani Noir is a thought-provoking journey into the mysteries of modern adolescent life. Suma skillfully navigates a course through the most turbulent waters--divorce, infidelity, abandonment, and hypocrisy--in a story that opens a window into the mind of a finally honest teen.

Nova Ren Suma allowed me to open a window into her mind, in this wonderful interview.

Judgment Day

2009-10-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

We came out of Costco to find a note on my boyfriend's windshield, which read, "Next time, save this parking spot for someone who is actually disabled." Apparently, the note-writer failed to notice the handicap tag in the windshield, or the fact that my boyfriend ambled into the store by leaning most of his weight on a shopping cart.

Fact: We are young, good-looking people! This doesn't mean it's easy or painless to get around all the time. We don't use the handicapped spaces on days when we feel good.

Fact: My boyfriend is a disabled veteran. His knee is full of metal pins. They hurt. I have fibromyalgia. I hurt. We are both "actually disabled."

Fact: If you are a medical doctor, you are well-aware that many people have invisible disabilities, problems that are not apparent to the untrained eye. If you are not a medical doctor, you are not really qualified to determined who is "actually disabled."

Fact: Anonymous notes are cowardly. If you want to confront us, confront us. We'll educate you.

Supposition: The author of this note is young, idealistic, and self-righteous. He or she is ready to set the world on fire, gunning down the enemies of equality, tolerance, and justice, without regard for who might be standing in the way. Without regard for whether he or she is right or wrong.

Suggestion: Does this kind of communication seem like a good idea to you? Your best bet is to shut up for the next five or ten years. Keep your eyes and ears open, keep your mouth closed, and try reading something that isn't the Internet. At the end of that time period, you might be qualified to express yourself intelligently.

Or conversely, you could go around falsely accusing people so you can walk around with a smug sense of self-righteousness. Good thing you live in America, where everyone has the right to be an ignorant, judgmental asshole.

Who's in charge here, anyway?

2009-10-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

In the last two and a half years, InTheWeird.com has become the destination of choice for up-to-the-minute information on el chupacabra, along with the occasional book or art review, plus all the anti-conservative ranting you can stomach. All things considered, an average thousand hits a week is not bad for an irregularly updated website with no cohesive mission statement.

We used to have a cohesive mission statement. I think it was something like, "hype Woodeye Glass"." But Woodeye is too busy making Woodeye Glass to do a lot of hyping. So that's cool. Buy Woodeye Glass"!!!

But what about Dragon? What can I hype?

Of course, there's Dragon's Library, a site that is updated far more often than In the Weird. It's still totally random, though. And weird. Don't forget weird.

And if you really want to see weird, there's Raincoat Flashers, where you can read some of my short-short fiction. Along with some other short-short fiction from the site's previous incarnation as a writing contest. But mostly just my short-short fiction, because when you inherit a website it's yours to do what you want with, right?

Speaking of which, anyone interested in a website where you can post outrageous names for imaginary bands? It's up for grabs.

And how about a little hype for Nova Ren Suma, the author of Dani Noir? We've got some original content coming your way in the form of an interview with the author. Like the real chupacabra, this site is hardy, adapted to succeed in a sparse environment, and difficult to pin down. And just because you haven't heard from us in a while doesn't mean we're not here.

I'm with the Banned

2009-09-21T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's Banned Book Week once again, seven days out of the year when we take the time to celebrate our First Amendment Rights, the power of the pen, and the triumph of reason over hysteria. Time to pull out your Judy Blume, your JK Rowling, your George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, Harlan Ellison, Anne Frank, Michel Foucault, Betty Friedan, Benjamin Franklin, Ray Bradbury, Maya Angelou. In short, this is a good week to think, because if you are a thinker, no doubt you will find some of your favorite authors in this list of authors challenged with censorship.

The United States of America was built primarily on the foundation of personal freedom, beginning with the freedom to speak and think as we like without government mandate. Freedom of the press--our right to publish our beliefs without censorship--is the cornerstone of our freedoms, along with freedom of speech, freedom from government intervention regarding religious behavior and our right to peaceably assemble and complain. Without these rights, we are no longer Americans.

And yet, some people still feel compelled to impose their beliefs on others, without the recognition that the same document that allows them to hold their beliefs without persecution also protects the rest of us from having their point of view forced upon us. Do you oppose gay marriage? Don't have one! Teen sex? Don't screw teenagers! Drug abuse? Just say no! But don't assume that your opposition to certain topics implies the right to prevent others from reading about them. That's freedom of speech and of the press. What you read is your business. What I read is my business. And if you want to protect your child from knowledge of reality, it's your responsibility to accompany them to the library, to watch TV with them, to shelter them. It is not the community's responsibility to hide the world from your child, and it's certainly not the librarian's job. The librarian's job is to make knowledge and information widely available.

Let's salute our librarians this week, thank them for undertaking the thankless task of running interference against the opposition while bringing us the books we love and--thank you freedom of speech--sometimes the books we hate. I'm glad that we live in a world where we can read both sides of the argument and decide for ourselves.

I very much enjoyed this incredible, almost painfully tactful letter from a librarian to a patron aggravated about a children's book that depicts gay marriage. No wonder librarians have always been some of my favorite people. Do yourself a favor and broaden your horizons this week. Read something you wouldn't ordinarily read, and celebrate your American freedom.

Cryptic Creatures

2009-09-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

We haven't given up on el chupacabra, and you shouldn't either.

Check out this recent video featuring a taxidermist and a creature that bears only a passing resemblance to a coyote. According to this industry insider, he's seen a lot of dead animals, and this one is different than anything he's ever stuffed.

Anything is possible, as our readers well know. I even heard tell of a new bigfoot photograph floating around the web. The picture was taken automatically, so no one saw the big skunk ape wander or in or out of the frame. Well, you've got to decide for yourself. I say, people usually see what they want to see. People who want to see sin see it everywhere. And people who are looking for magic....

Indoorcycling: Full On Gymnastics... On a Bike.

2009-09-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

These girls are so far beyond badass there needs to be a whole new word created just for them:

European Junior Championships Indoorcycling

Open Sun Glasses for the Kirkland Museum by Woodeye Glassware

2009-09-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

I have been hard at work and completely neglecting my friends here (among other things), and I completely forgot to post a link to my new "Open Sun" glasses created especially for the Kirkland Museum in Denver, CO. The museum store manager contacted me a couple months ago to ask if I could create a special series of glasses based upon the "Open Sun" series of painting created by Vance Kirkland which are center pieces of their museum. After much effort I was able to create glasses that almost perfectly reflect the paintings they are based on. The first series of of 10 sets are Very Limited Edition, and feature double painted, reverse gradations. Only 10 sets will be made and are available exclusively thru the Kirkland Museum. I have also created some less expensive, etched only and single paint versions that will be available within the next couple weeks.

MAJOR UPDATE!!! I was just contacted by the Kirkland Museum to let me know the museum director and curator have placed a set of my Limited Edition "Open Sun" glasses into their permanent collection! Sweeeeeeetness!

A Long Time in Coming

2009-09-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

After a long, uphill battle, it looks like Antioch College is knocking on freedom's door. This Friday, the long-anticipated transition of power will finally occur. The enormous breach of trust and waste of resources committed by the University is in the past, and the independent College can flourish again!

Classes are scheduled to resume in fall of 2011.

New Life

2009-08-29T15:57:00.000-07:00

In the Weird returns to its roots! Today, we showcase an artist working in the medium of strange. In this case, we laud him not only for his artistic ability, but for the green quality of his oeuvre, which is hand-crafted exclusively from discarded phone books. Artist Alex Queral soaks these ubiquitous and antiquated relics of a world without on-demand information in water to stick the pages together, then carves the faces of famous men and women into the hard, pulpy mass, using a scalpel.

View more images of Queral's work here.

Finally found a reason to post.

2009-08-22T14:06:00.000-07:00

can't be unwatched. you're welcome. groovy.

Read to a Dog

2009-08-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

In the Weird has started to sound like a dour, angry old hippie, standing out on the porch of our dilapidated farmhouse, shaking our collective fists at the world's conservatives, capitalists, and anyone who happens to set foot on our damn lawn.

That's not weird. That's just sad.

So let's take a break from all this seriousness to tackle a topic that at the heart of our sister blog, Dragon's Library: youth literacy. Do you have a moment to discuss your dog's ability to appreciate literature?

In the days of two working parents and too much video technology, beginning readers often don't have the motivation to practice reading, which is where therapy dogs come in.

Yes. Dogs.

Did you know that a dogs is a "non-judgmental listener...who will accept the story exactly as" it's read? For struggling readers, reading to a dog involves less stress than reading to someone who may correct or question their interpretation. This information comes directly from our local library system website, which hosts regular "Read to a Dog" events. In fact, most dog-owners will probably find their dog eager enough to listen to five hundred renditions of The Cat in the Hat, but if your dog doesn't want to hear your child's voice, or if you don't have a dog, consider acquiring the services of a professional, trained listening dog.

If you would like to know more about reading to dogs, you can check out this Read to a Dog website, or just Google "Read to a Dog."

It's the, stupid, economy

2009-08-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

There's a human element.

First, there were the foreclosure and for sale signs up and down my block, but since we are misanthropic and anti-social, and my landlords are not planning on selling this house, it didn't affect us much. After a while, most of the foreclosure and for sale signs were replaced with rental signs. And gradually, those disappeared. There are still a few in the neighborhood, but most of the empty homes converted smoothly into rental properties.

Second, there was my cat. He was obviously domesticated, and he was obviously out of doors, and he was obviously starving to death. We speculated he came from one of those foreclosed homes, was left behind when the humans went. I took him in, fed him, and his problems ended.

Third, there are the unrentable houses.

I wouldn't know about them, except that circumstances transpired to make this a good time to buy my first house. It's a buyer's market, after all. I'm not wealthy, though. I can afford a bargain, and a bargain is what I'm looking for.

The houses we've been looking at are all in need of work. Lots of work. These are houses that you cannot get a bank loan for, because no bank would loan you money to buy these kinds of problems. Sometimes the trouble is that the foreclosure happened in the middle of a flip. The investor gets mad about losing his money and sabotages the house, steals the appliances and fixtures, everything that's not nailed down. We've looked at houses with no HVAC, no toilets, no faucets. We've been warned to watch out for concrete poured down the drain.

Sometimes the foreclosure happens to someone who's lived there a long time. These houses have holes in the walls. "Angry movers," my real estate agent called it. There is trash on the property, and little slivers of other people's lives strewn here and there: spare change, empty boxes.

The saddest thing we've seen yet was the graffiti room. It was a little room in a little house. I wouldn't have bought it under any circumstances, because it was cramped, and the yard didn't suit my needs. But it was someone's house. Some little girl remembered that house as the only house, that room as the only room.

Her parents must have told her she could do as she liked, it didn't matter anymore, and she covered her room, walls and ceiling, with pastel-marker messages: "Goodbye House!" and "Memories are Forever" along with names, initials, illegible in-jokes and a few mildly rude words ("Boobs!") She loved that house and that room. She didn't understand what happened, why things had to change. She just knew they had. In some ways, kids are better at letting go than adults, in other ways, they hold on longer.

We've declined to move on the other kind of foreclosed house: the kind that still has tenants. I'm not sure how it's even possible, to go into someone's home and evict them. Sorry, you're behind on the mortgage, you lose your investment, you lose your home. But this is happening. In some places, the market is rebounding, but Tucson, Arizona is not one of them. July marked the highest number of foreclosures yet.

Someone's loss will be my profit. I'll find a home with no floors, holes in the wall, a big gap where the fridge should stand, and I'll snap it up for a song and throw my heart and my paycheck into fixing it up. No one will foreclose on me, because I will pay cash, in full. But I will remember those who came before. I will remember the human element. I will remember the little girl with the pastel markers, whose childhood home will haunt her dreams.

On Health Care and Dining Out by Allison Williams

2009-08-07T23:46:00.000-07:00

Imagine that America has the best restaurants in the world. The food is both amazingly delicious and incredibly nutritious. Chefs come from all over the world to work and learn in American restaurants and test kitchens, and every year billions of dollars are spent to make the food even better, and to make food that appeals to every possible diner’s personal tastes and physical needs. And anyone who wants to can eat.

One catch – eating in an American restaurant costs at least $200 per meal. Not counting the appetizers, any special requests like “extra Bearnaise sauce, please” or the napkins. But since the food is so good for you, and so desirable – and in this world, most people can’t cook at home, and most raw ingredients aren’t sold in stores – about 84% of the public has an agreement with their employer. They pay about $200-500 a month, and they can eat all they want. The remaining 15.8% of the American population goes hungry most of the time, eating whatever they can scrounge, and hopes they don’t get very hungry, because if they get very hungry, and really, really need a week of those very delicious, very nutritious meals to stay alive, it will cost them enough money to put them in debt for the rest of their life. Most of them choose to stay hungry.

This is what the current system of American health care is like. Sure, the restaurant is usually pretty busy, but most people make reservations anyway. If you want a big banquet, or some really special ingredients, you might wait a few weeks until they can squeeze you in, but you can almost always get a table.

So what happens if we let that last 16% come into the restaurant? Well, wait times might be a little longer. And some people might decide to go eat at another country’s restaurant, where the service is snappier, or where the chefs are a little less rushed because they deal with fewer people. But there would be fewer people starving, mouths watering with their noses pressed to the glass while the people who can afford it dine in splendor.

Are there waiting times in countries with socialized medicine for some procedures? Sure. That’s what happens when you allow everyone to see the doctor instead of just the people who can afford it.

It’s OK to vote in your own self-interest – most people do. So when you vote against reforming health care, please be clear on what you’re voting for.

You are not defending the American way of life.

You are not defending the freedom to make your own medical choices.

You are not defending the world’s greatest medical care system.

You are voting so that you can see the doctor and I can’t.

Source on health insurance statistic – the Census Bureau via Cnn.com.

I Totally Identify with This

2009-07-28T17:58:00.000-07:00

(thanks vernon)

The Battle of the Century!

2009-07-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

YES!!!!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Aliens!

2009-06-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

Or not.

Brilliant!

2009-06-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Robotic furniture powered by vermin like mice and flies, which it catches itself. Functional AND functional.

At long last?

2009-06-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead.

Alumni group to pay $6M to separate Antioch College in Ohio from parent university

By Associated Press

12:52 PM EDT, June 30, 2009
DAYTON, Ohio (AP) — An alumni group from Antioch College in Ohio has a conditional agreement that will allow them to operate the financially strapped school and reopen in two years.

The alumni group agreed to pay parent Antioch University $6 million for the campus and the college's endowment. The school is closed because of financial problems caused by declining enrollment, a heavy dependence on tuition and a small endowment.

The college in Yellow Springs, Ohio, is the flagship of Antioch University, which also has campuses in Seattle, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Calif., and Keene, N.H.

The agreement, announced Tuesday, is contingent on approval from the Ohio attorney general's office and university bond holders.

I <3 the future!

2009-06-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

Telekinesis machines? In the Weird seems to have missed the announcement of Mattel's Mindflex, the game that allows players to move objects with thought, but here comes even more exciting news: a wheelchair controlled by thought.

It's an EEG device that "analyzes brain wave data using signal-processing technology and delivers neuro-feedback to the driver." Similar technology is being used for other mind-controlled devices, as well as the next generation of more-accurate lie detectors.

Nerd Core

2009-06-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

Actor/writer and acknowledged nerd John Hodgman discusses President Obama's geek credentials while the president plays along in front of a crowd of media correspondants. Good, clean fun for geeks and nerds!

The best of both worlds

2009-06-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

More stuff to love:

Dean Fraser draws pop culture icons in the style of The Simpsons at Springfield Punx. His most recent posts caricature the folks from Lost. Older posts showcase comic book superheros (Marvel and DC), old TV characters, and pretty much whoever strikes his fancy.

My skin just came off my body and ran away

2009-06-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

(from a tech demo of animation from a still image)

You're less dead than me

2009-05-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

So have you had the chance to meet the glorious Croy Devenish-Phibbs and his hilariously dead family? Croy is the 103 year old (so it is claimed at least) "silver surfer" of the web and twitscape who has urged people to send him photographs of donated park benches around Scotland with obituary markers from his extended Devenish-Phibbs clan... with extremely humorous results. This is one of the funniest "public art" projects I have ever seen... may take a bit to load the images, but hang in there, they are so very worth it.

Click here to visit the Devenish-Phibbs bench plaque photo gallery.

One of my favorites, just as a teaser:
"For Flo who used to love to come to this park to chase squirrels, sniff dogs and do her business in the bushes. She was by no means a conventional woman but we miss her all the same.
Florence Devenish-Phibbs, wife and sister
1830 - 1934"

They saw a need...

2009-05-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

Click here to read about an exciting new invention: the scorpion shield, which keeps the potentially dangerous arachnid from climbing into your child's crib and stinging him to death!

In fact, out here in the desert, there's nothing at all weird about this, but I imagine folks in the rest of the country shuddering and shaking their heads.

"At night [the inventors] used to prowl the rooms in their North Side home with a black light and tongs, catching scorpions."

Yes, many scorpions fluoresce under ultraviolet light! Isn't that interesting? Just another one of nature's miracles.

Florescent scorpion

But don't breathe easy just yet: "...although smooth glass is a good shield, it won't keep out every scorpion. They also walk across ceilings and sometimes drop onto furniture." Are you ready to move out to the desert?

Go to www.scorpionsafe.com to learn more!

Two-Stroke Rhythm Section Looks Exhausting*

2009-05-11T13:37:00.001-07:00

This reminds me of a wonderful duet for trombone and tractor I once heard at the SF Contemporary Music Players, I wish I could remember who that composer was.

Tractor Used As Drums For Sweet Georgia Brown

(thanks steve)

* apologies for the pun, I couldn't resist.

Introducing the USB Toaster!!!

2009-05-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful way to start the morning! Just plug it in to your USB port and it will toast the news, weather or any photo directly onto your bread! I'm guessing cloudy with a chance of cream cheese!

Serious monsters

2009-04-19T20:06:00.000-07:00

We love the serious study of the bizarre as much as anyone (OK, we love it more than most people) but we don't deny there's room for a little comic relief in the pursuit of secretive animal species. Enter In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Big Foot. This tell-all tome offers up the dishiest dirt on the often elusive, always misunderstood forest dweller. Sure, Bigfoot can't always control his love of eating people, but he has feelings like anyone else, and he's not afraid to share them.

Read more and buy the book at Dragon's Library

Fertile ground

2009-04-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

This one strains credulity in a way that goes above and beyond our normal cryptozoology posts. Let's call it cryptobotany. Doctors in Russia claim to have removed a two-inch fir tree from a man's lungs. The video shows a two-inch fir tree nestled inside a surgical incision.

Mostly likely it's hoaxier than that last Loch Ness Monster sighting, but who knows? Maybe his lungs were moist and fertile. Maybe enough light penetrated his chest to nurture a baby evergreen.

Maybe the hospital was short on funds and really, really needed some free viral publicity.

Someone turned my dream from last night into a short film

2009-04-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

The coming robot revolution

2009-04-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Skynet hasn't yet achieved awareness, but CB2 is learning to recognize facial expressions. Invented by a team of scientists at Osaka University, this charming baby robot is equipped with moving eyes and tactile sensors, which allow it to interact with its "mommy."

Short article about CB2 on NationalGeographic.com.

Where The Hackers Get Together

2009-04-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

PRI's The Takeaway did a nice short video spot on the mixed media hacker collective phenomenon, specifically about NYC Resistor:
"Hacker spaces" are giving geek tinkerers a place to gather, create and collaborate

(My brother is the guy with the bags full of hacked iPods)

People with too much faith in the political process

2009-04-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Or possibly, just realists.

Chinese Vampire Deer Attacks on the Rise!

2009-04-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

So they claim that this is no April Fools joke...

Pet owners in Bedfordshire, UK have been reporting increasing numbers of attacks by a population of Chinese Water Deer whose ancestors escaped from a local safari park in 1920's & 30's. The tiny little deer (2 ft tall, and no more and 31 lbs) come equipped with nasty 3.5 inch boar-like tusks which they have been using to ravage unsuspecting dogs who think they are just chasing away Bambi and then suddenly realize they are actually be chased themselves by Bambi's bloodsucking uncle, Count Bambula. Don't f@#k with Bambi!

Read the full article from the UK's Mail Online.

Feeling Lucky?

2009-03-10T17:38:00.001-07:00

Today, Simon & Schuster releases the sequel to the 2007 Newbery award winner, The Higher Power of Lucky. This novel, entitled Lucky Breaks, picks up shortly after the first story ends. Lucky is very nearly eleven years old, she has finally been adopted by her former guardian, Brigitte, and she is ready for some excitement. Unfortunately, she still lives in Hard Pan, population 43, and between coaching Brigitte on how to be American and sabotaging her best friend's potential opportunity to leave town, Lucky finds real excitement hard to come by. When Paloma, a pretty, funny girl just Lucky's age turns up at Brigitte's new cafe, Lucky can't help but see signs that things are changing. But change never comes in the form that we expect.

Author Susan Patron has created a very real character, full of the conflicting wonder, anger, and hope that marks the beginning of a child's transformation into adulthood. Readers young and old can't help but fall into Lucky's story, laughing when she laughs and worrying when she missteps.

Susan Patron also gives great interviews! She was kind enough to grant one to me. Here's an excerpt:

It took me a long time to find the heart of Lucky's story; I couldn't figure out what was driving the book. My mother's death in 2003 sideswiped me; it knocked me over, but at the same time it made me understand the feelings that give life to Lucky. I hope young readers will come away from the book with a feeling of hope, a sense that we human beings can redeem ourselves, an understanding that love is the answer.

Interested? Want to hear the rest? Want a link to information about the author's book tour? Read more...

Trying to kill 15 minutes?

2009-02-27T20:44:00.000-08:00

In the Weird can help!

Here are a few off the beaten track recommendations.

First, Validation: A Fable about the Magic of Free Parking. This sixteen-minute short film has won several awards. It is brilliant and delightful and features the ever-adorable T.J. Thynes.

Second, from TripAdvisor's list of the 10 dirtiest hotels in America: dozens of hysterically scathing reviews of a cosmically awful hotel.

Third, The Hero Factory. Make an avatar of yourself as a superhero. Hey, we never said we could help you be productive!

Giant Anime Machine Flees Film Set and Eats a Dozer!

2009-02-25T14:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this is not some crazy escaped monster from an anime movie or the next Transformers, but rather an actual, functioning, dirt, stone, coal, and occasional bulldozer chewing monster of a machine created by the Krupp company of Germany. This absolutely absurd giant wheel excavator/trencher is known as the Bagger 288, which weighs in at 45,500 tons!!!

DarkRoastedBlend.com has put together a great page of images of this beast and others, including how a full size bulldozer can be like a little food stuck in it's teeth!

Things we like

2009-02-19T08:05:00.000-08:00

Well, we're back once more, after a fortuitous stay in our nation's capital, where we couldn't help but notice how retailers such as Chevron, Pepsi, and Ikea are capitalizing on the change in the air with huge Metro ad campaigns that reflect back to presidential campaign issues. Chevron wants people to consume less energy. Ikea wants to encourage change in the form of home decoration.

And Pepsi, in case you haven't caught this, has revamped their logo to sort of look a little bit more like Obama's red, white, and blue rising sun icon. (Hint: flip the Pepsi logo upside down.)

Things could always be worse.

Also, Bristol Palin explains that expecting abstinence from teens is unrealistic. You don't say. Next you'll be telling us that prophylactics can prevent unwanted conception!

But we don't want to sound smug. What we really like is web comics, and specifically, the Happiest Vagina T shirt by Danielle Corsetto, author of Girls with Slingshots, available in pink or gray for only $15.

That's a happy vagina!

Sour Grapes

2009-02-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

What's been cracking me up lately is a spate of primarily print media outlets, which are basically no longer terribly relevant but still eking out an existence, attempting to demonstrate some kind of technological savvy by criticizing popular Internet websites and conventions. When Time Magazine, which, to me, represents a kind of movie-theater-popcorn-grade nutrition in the banquet of news analysis, posts a list of the top 5 overrated blogs, it really feels like grasping at straws. Sorry, Time Magazine, but the reality is that icanhascheezburger.com is entertaining and appealing across a wide swath of culture. Your magazine is not.

And don't even get me started on the multiple articles across news sources on the theme of "Facebook 25 Random Things Lists are stupid." Basically what you're saying is that hundreds of thousands of people are participating in an activity that you don't care for. I spent all the 90s feeling the same way about Seinfeld but that didn't stop people from enjoying an essentially brainless television program. But guess what? I didn't try to look cool by writing editorials about how stupid it was, I just didn't watch it. I didn't pretend that my feelings about that show (and many other popular shows) were news.

This is truly a last ditch effort to try to convince readers that old sources are hip, happening, and have their finger on the pulse of modern culture. Step 1: Identify Internet Trend. Step 2: Dis Internet Trend. Step 3: Profit. Except that I just don't see how you're going to pull step 3 out of your ass.

Ostrich bite...

2009-01-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, they do.

Why does Rush Limbaugh hate America?

2009-01-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

Obsolete, hypocritical bigot panders to minuscule, racist fan base

Some loud mouth rabble-rousing drug addicts will say just about anything to persuade themselves that they're relevant to the national discourse. Funny how critics of Bush's obvious and compound mistakes were, in Limbaugh's mind, evil, anti-American folks, but it's patriotic, by his reckoning, to wish for the current administration's failure before they've had a chance to do anything? Yes, that's what he said. Rush Limbaugh "wants" Obama "to fail."

Can we break that down? Rush Limbaugh want unemployment and bankruptcies to rise while American businesses shut their doors forever? Rush Limbaugh wants millions of Americans to lose their homes to foreclosure? Rush Limbaugh wants veterans and civilians alike suffering for lack of adequate health care? Rush Limbaugh wants the continued suspension of Constitutional rights and American freedoms? Rush Limbaugh wants America to pour billions of dollars and the lives of young Americans into the bottomless sinkhole of an unwinnable war? Rush Limbaugh wants to garner the animosity of every other nation in the world?

Does Rush Limbaugh get a paycheck from the KKK? Who are these people who continue to encourage this hatemonger to speak publicly?

And, of course, the subtext: Rush Limbaugh wants to return to the witch hunt mentality of the 1950s HUAC red scare, and will point to the bugaboo shadow of "socialism" in a vain attempt to foment fear of change while stamping out the possibility of hope.

Or does Rush Limbaugh want the title of "Most Ignorant Person in America"? He's got my vote. I hope he succeeds. Here's a note, Rush Limbaugh: the majority of thinking Americans do not fear the word "socialism" because we know that's your shorthand for "more equal distribution of resources." It's only a frightening concept for greedy xenophobes. If Bill Gates and Warren Buffet aren't afraid of it, what's your problem?

We're going to file this one under "comedy" and move on.

Hope, from space

2009-01-23T10:06:00.001-08:00

Satellite image of the National Mall during the inauguration.

Click image to enlarge. Click here for more inaugural satellite photography on CNET

Withdrawal plan on day one?

2009-01-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

Are we really going to start the process of bringing the troops home immediately? We'd like to believe in this change!

Jumping Maggot Cheese?!?

2009-01-16T22:26:00.000-08:00

I just saw this over on BoingBoing.net and felt it desperately needed to be added to InTheWeird link list.

"Casu marzu is considered toxic when the maggots in the cheese have died. Because of this, only cheese in which the maggots are still alive is eaten. When the cheese has fermented enough, it is cut into thin strips and spread on moistened Sardinian flatbread (pane carasau), to be served with a strong red wine."

WTF you say??? Well that is only where it starts to get good, then however you read this:

"Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed, diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping into their eyes."

This is apparently a delicacy for the Sardinian people... ok then, it is official.

Sardinian people are fricken weird.

Good News!

2009-01-16T08:42:00.000-08:00

Arguably the coolest graphic novel in the history of using images and word bubbles to tell a speculative story, The Watchmen will actually hit the big screen more or less on schedule. Advance buzz on the film was good for fans of Alan Moore, who have seen his work turned into everything from decent-but-hardly-hitting-the-awesomeness-level-of-the-book (From Hell) to someone-ought-to-get-shot-for-bringing-this-painful-crap-into-the-world-when-the-original-was-so-awesome (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen).

Copyright disputes between Fox and Warner Bros. threatened to cancel the premiere entirely, but recently, saner heads have prevailed and the two studios have come to agreement that, yes, everyone can have some money. I would argue that stories on the level of The Watchmen belong to the world (See South Park episode 88: "Free Hat") and that as long as Moore and people actually involved in making the film get their cut, it's kind of demented for large corporations to argue about who "owns" a story.

I hope Moore uses his share to buy some spiffy new Aleister Crowley robes so he can move comfortably as he casts a spell to give all the studio execs laryngitis and hand paralysis that keep them from operating their Blackberries.

The film should premiere later this year. If you are too lazy to read books, for $19.99, you can also download the complete, uncut book as a "motion comic" from the iTunes store, with every panel intact, narrated, and slightly animated. As of this writing, I think they've gotten up to chapter 9 (of 12).

The Boy Whose Hands Were Birds

2009-01-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, poetry is best read aloud. Discussion of poetry, and especially writing about poetry, always strike me as boarding a fast carriage moving in the opposite direction of where you're trying to go. Reading poetry to oneself is kind of like watching a concert with the TV on mute. But I digress. Sometimes you want to read poetry, and the author isn't there to read it to you. (Trust me; it's the best way to do poetry.)

Since we're no strangers to shameless plugs, I'm going to shamelessly plug The Boy Whose Hands Were Birds, a book of poetry by my buddy Roy Seeger, even though his wife stopped submitting to In the Weird and they wouldn't send me a free reviewer's copy. It's a good book. I don't think I've heard the author read any of these poems, but I have heard him read other poems, so I'm doing my best to imagine his voice.

And even though I'm not great at writing about poetry, I'm going to link to my review of The Boy Whose Hands Were Birds, just in case you wanted to read my three-sentence summary of a book that introduces approximately three intense images in every line.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun site that just came to our attention: passive-aggressive notes. In the tradition of Found Magazine, but with more crabby sarcasm and less mysterious whimsy, this site showcases the unattractive side of human interaction. What happens when people with different moral codes are forced to live and work side by side? Let's find out!

In the Weird is keeping its chin up, with optimism and hope for 2009. We're looking forward to the end of this awful war and the end of this awful administration. We're going to smile through the pain when we see the occasional happy news story. We're going to remember that the news is about awful things, not because awful things are the norm, but because the news capitalizes on the sensational.

Need more of a pick-me-up? Head over to National Geographic and check out some of their excellent Best of 2009 photo compilations.

Fuel Efficient

2008-12-24T11:28:00.001-08:00

Clearly, there's more to the story, but we can't stop snickering over the tale of the plastic surgeon who turned unwanted human fat into biodiesel. You know: 'cause it's so funny.

Every man is my brother

2008-12-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

We like this new research indicating that an individual's happiness is greatly influence by the happiness by folks with two or three degrees of separation. That is to say, if your friends' friends' friends are happy, you will feel it.

We know it works the other way. If someone gets pissed off and yells at their spouse, who happens to be, say, a police chief, and that person goes into work cranky and takes it out on his underlings, everyone who comes into contact with traffic cops from that district is going to have a lousy day. So random acts of kindness and senseless beauty have ripple effects as well. Everyone touches the universe.

I know which side I want to be on.

Yeah, we're back

2008-11-25T07:04:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been another great week for positive weirdness. A guy successfully flew over a gorge wearing a peroxide-fueled jet pack and NASA has perfected a device that allows astronauts to recycle their own urine into potable drinking water. Scientists have cured one guy of AIDS with stem cell therapy and studies show that happy people watch less television than unhappy people. Preliminary research suggests that more often than we suspect cancer just goes away all by itself without treatment.

As a special bonus, National Geographic provides us with video footage of a really weird species of deep water squid.

On the down side, pirates are running amuck in the middle east and misguided producers continue to encourage the governor of Alaska to talk on TV. Also, yesterday Dragon got into a fight with some guys at the airport offering free round trips in exchange for opening a new line of credit. "I know you've got to work and all, but maybe you shouldn't be encouraging people to get credit cards in this economic climate. That's kind of how we got into this mess." Said drones replied that credit was great and helped fuel the economy. Perhaps they dropped out of a time warp. Still, the new administration takes over in just under two months and we're keeping our chins up!

Real Life Meat Puppets

2008-10-28T09:03:00.001-07:00

electric stimulus to face -test3 ( Daito Manabe )

(from engadget)

****ing Like Rabbits

2008-10-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Dancing... what did you think the **** was standing in for?

Best video i've seen in ages.

(Grr, the only embeddable version i can find is censored, here is a link to the uncensored version)

You sir, are no Maverick

2008-10-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

Reuters has an interview with the Maverick family (from which the word maverick entered our lexicon), who have come out with a statement saying McCain "is in no way a maverick, in uppercase or lowercase,” the Times reported Terrellita Maverick (the 82 years old scion of the Maverick clan), as saying. “It’s just incredible - the nerve! - to suggest that he’s not part of that Republican herd. Every time we hear it, all my children and I and all my family shrink a little and say, ‘Oh, my God, he said it again.’ ”

A little Maverick family history from the article:

The family’s name crept into the language for Samuel Augustus Maverick, a rancher who became known for not branding his cattle in the 1800s. Any unbranded cows found out on the range were simply known as “Maverick’s.”

Ranching aside, the Times reported that members of the Maverick family also have a long history championing often unpopular civil libertarian causes — from the rights of indentured servants in long ago New England to defending the cause of “draft resisters, atheists and others scorned by society” more recently in Texas.

Lil' Bill O'Reilly is Truely Terrifying

2008-10-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

Little Bill O'Reilly Tells It Like It Is

Little Bill O'Reilly Tells It Like It Is - Watch more free videos

Lemmings-R-Us!

2008-09-28T16:30:00.000-07:00

Are You interested in Lemmings? Sure! We ALL are! Now you too can learn at home about this cute, furry, compulsively suicidal animal!

Another ed-yoo-KAY-shun-all ep-PIS-odd brought to you by Noisephactory.com and the Welsh Radio Ensemble.

Dear Mrs. Palin

2008-09-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

I was also not one of those people who's parents got me a passport and bought me a backpack and sent me off to Europe after college. Like you, I often worked two or three jobs through college and after. Yet I have a passport and I've used it and though I have to work to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head, you can bet that I plan on using it again and again in my lifetime.

Out of all the ridiculously stupid things you stuttered out at Katy Couric in your interview on foreign policy, I felt that your implication that harboring a desire and curiosity to understand other cultures and to see other countries as something elitist was possibly the most offensive.

It is not elitist or un-American to travel abroad. Before I went truly abroad for the first time (like you, I lived for many years right next to another country to which I traveled many times), I was disaffected and angry with the U.S.A. I won't go into my reasons. Spending time abroad not only taught me a great deal about how other people live, how they are not so much different than you or me and that I really, truly loved the country I came from to begin with.

It is obvious you have been nowhere and that you have been exposed to very few types of people outside your own community. You claim to have explored the world through books, yet your lack of eloquence would lead me to believe that you haven't read anything but the back of a cereal box in a long, long time.

Also, instead of looking down (or being jealous) of families who can afford to introduce the world to their children, we should applaud them. They are doing a great service by their kids.

I really dislike you. I really, really dislike you. I get a creepy crawly feeling when I see your face and hear your voice.

Anyway, I am off to study another language. I hope you stick to English. You should think about taking a class in it.

<3 Sir William Shakespeare

Timeout...

2008-09-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

Guest Author: Beth Fehlbaum

2008-09-21T01:38:00.000-07:00

Chris Crutcher, acclaimed author of such books as Deadline, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes, and Ironman, is not only a writer who reaches kids where they are, but he is also a champion for First Amendment rights. Besides admiring him for the reasons just noted, I am such a fan of his that I asked him if I could use his novel, Ironman, as a thematic element in my debut novel, Courage in Patience, a story of hope for those who have endured abuse. Courage in Patience is the story of Ashley Nicole Asher, 15, who has been sexually abused by her stepfather for six years. She is removed from her mother's home and sent to live with her biological father, David, whom she has not seen since she was three months old. It is with David and his wife, Bev, an English teacher, that Ashley's life begins anew, in the tiny East Texas town of Patience.

Chris Crutcher is used to his books being a lightning rod for controversy; after all, the stories he writes routinely address hard-hitting topics such as racism, incest, child abuse, and homophobia. This made Ironman the perfect choice for Bev to use in her summer school English classroom. I was thrilled when he graciously agreed to allow me to use Ironman as a launch pad for controversy.

What follows is an excerpt from Courage in Patience. The parents of one of Bev's students are discussing Chris Crutcher's novel, Ironman:

© Beth Fehlbaum, 2008

“We have a problem, dear,” Chloe said as she wiped the crumbs from the kitchen table and wrinkled her nose to hike up her glasses.

“What’s that?” Dayton said from the living room. T.W. had placated him somewhat by asking if he would throw the ball around with him before dinner, so the issue of his son being influenced by the Bo Brewster character had lessened in his mind. “This book, this Ironman. Is it on the list of approved novels for the district?”

“I doubt it. Beverly Asher’s teaching the class. Have you ever seen her car, Chloe? She has this strange bumper sticker with a Star of David and a cross on it. Peace signs, other weirdo stuff. I think she was raised in a commune. I'll bet she doesn't even shave her legs. Or under her arms."

To continue reading this excerpt on my website, http://www.bethfehlbaum.com, please click here: website

To read a review or buy this book: Click here.

Or buy it now:

Cris Crutcher books discussed in this post:

Awesome doesn't even begin to cover it

2008-09-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

I have seen the greatest television show ever created. It is, obviously, Japanese. Witness the glory that is Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot! (Jaianto robo if you speak Japanese.)

Johnny Sokko is an affable little tyke, so well-adjusted that he can swim away from a sinking ship without shedding a single tear for the friends and family who are surely dying mere feet away from him. No! Johnny Sokko moves on to the next adventure and puts the past behind him.

He is assisted in his quest by one Gary Manno, who is the Japanese James Bond, if James Bond were unable to stop smiling and announcing that he is a secret agent on a very important mission. Also, if James Bond befriended random unattended children and forced them to help him infiltrate the bad guy's HQ. Gary Manno's secret spy organization is called "Unicorn," which dovetails nicely with the evil conglomeration they fight, "Gargoyle."

Johnny acquires his flying robot in the usual way: while infiltrating Gargoyle's secret island headquarters after being shipwrecked by a giant sea monster named Dragulon, he is allowed to hold the device that controls Gargoyle's unactivated death robot just as the mad scientist who created it against his will decides to use the power of nuclear detonation to destroy the criminals. The robot has been cleverly engineered such that it will only obey the voice of the first person it hears after activation. Got it?

Most of the show's "special" effects, including everything robot does, consist of stock footage. Its production values rank on par with your average elementary school spring sing. The robot appears to have been built by a twelve year old who happened to have a lot of cardboard, a can of silver spray paint, and a Pharaoh mask. Despite its appearance, the robot can shoot rockets from its finger, lasers from its eyes, and fire from its mouth. And it can fly. There's some kind of hideous alien in a plastic spaceship orbiting Earth, but his role remains undefined in my mind.

Truly, a testament to the power of the audio-visual medium to change the world.

Custom Chessboards by Woodeye Studios

2008-09-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

This is a custom chess board I just finished recently that features an incredibly detailed design by Casey Young. I remastered his drawings, then sandblasted the design into a 18 x 18 granite tile, and laid a heat hardened porcelain paint into the etched portions. With Casey's permission I will create a limited run of up to 10 of these boards... or I can also create a custom board just for you, in the designs and materials you want! Just follow this link to head over to my new online gallery for details!