Dinosaurs, sexbots, and liquor, oh my!

It's time once again for a look at the news. You certainly don't have anything better to do than laugh at the world, or you wouldn't be here.

First off, we have the miraculous discover of Shackleton's whisky. It seems that when the polar explorer departed from the antarctic, he left behind five cases of booze. And, according to experts on the subject, this century-old liquor was made with a lost recipe. And modern analysis will allow us to recreate this recipe. And modern seekers of the pure water of life will be able to taste history! This is almost as exciting as the news about polar fungus that is slowly destroying the buildings Shackleton once took shelter in.

Next, we have the exciting news that fossil remains of pigment sacs called melanosomes are helping scientists determine what color some dinosaurs actually were. Every year, dinosaurs look more and more like birds.

Complicating the debate on consciousness is new research demonstrating that, in some cases, it is possible to communicate with vegetative patients by scanning their brains after asking yes or no questions. We're just dying to see where this goes.

And last but not least...sexbots! Yeah, we're a little bit late with this one, but in case you haven't already heard, your $6000 Real Doll is now obsolete. For a few thousand more, you can have Roxxxy, the doll that holds your hands, carries on a conversation, and has orgasms. She is programmed with five different personalities, depending on your preference, is wifi ready, and can receive software updates. Now you have another excuse for being a great big nerd who never gets off the Internet! Yay!