Prurience is relative

The above graph is being used as evidence in a Florida obscenity trial. As you may know, obscenity is not only judged on the basis of whether or not a work lacks artistic merit and tends to appeal to the prurient interest, but also by whether it violates the community's basic standards. Since we can now prove that pornography is consumed across the board by decent, hardworking and even--wait for it--politically conservative Americans, it is becoming pretty much impossible to convict someone on obscenity charges. And good thing, too. People who get off on telling other people how to get off are a) the real perverts and b) extremely unamerican.

As you can see from the evidence, "boobs" outranks "surfing" by a wide margin as a popular Google search. And apart from a brief spike every year around Thanksgiving, the good people of Florida are far more interested in orgies than apple pie. That's my America! Don't get me wrong: I love pie. But it's pretty stupid to argue that pie is somehow more American than sex.

If the behavior that takes place between consenting adults offends you, and you are the kind of person who can't be bothered to examine your motives and understand why other people's private actions get your panties in such a bunch, the polite and tactful thing to do is look away. Yes, I'll say it again. Pornography: if you don't like it, don't look.