Bush on Contractors in Iraq

Otherwise entitled: "This is our President... if you are not embarassed, then you are probably one of the idiots who elected him. Thanks, thanks so very much for that."

Giant Robotic Frogs!?!

It is clearly only a matter of time before our robotic overlords dance and hop their way to world wide domination!!!

Is this example of robot frog technology just a preview of our giant metal clad, amphibibot hopping doom?

Optical Confusion

If there is one thing that gets my heart racing, it is a huge, brilliant nerd who uses his giant brain to achieve perfection in nerdly pursuits. This guy, for example.

Andrew Lipson is a self-professed nerd. He programs computers, juggles, and still plays with Legos. (And you can drop your stereotypes at the on-ramp: he has a wife and kids and a job that involves leaving the house. He does not live in his mother's basement. He's not obese, and he hasn't got a neckbeard.) And when you've been playing with Legos as long as this guy has, you get pretty good at it. You can do some pretty amazing things with all those little plastic bricks. Like this:



If you are a nerd like me, you will first immediately recognize this image as a three-dimensional rendering of one of M.C. Escher's "impossible" designs, and you will second immediately wonder, "how the hell did he do that?" It's one thing to draw an optical illusion in two dimensions. It's quite another to build one in three. 'Cause, you know, it's impossible. Well, Lipson and his partner in Lego, Daniel Shiu, have been systematically working through all the impossible designs.

Click here for a larger (and less fuzzy) view and to see how he does it. (Hint: some of it involves writing C code. Some of it involves camera angles. Some if it involves digital manipulation.) This is some incredible work, regardless of how it's put together.

As a bonus, Lipson and Shui have also written the most useful personality test known to the corporate world. Honestly, who cares if your co-worker is a thinker or a feeler? It's much more important to know whether or not they're evil.

CNN - Bush tries to Pardon Self for War Crimes!!!

How much more of this absurdity are we supposed to take? This administration is showing pure and utter contempt for our society and the principles under which it was founded. At no time in our nation's history has there been more grounds for Impeachment.

This is a sad time for America.

Andrew Meyer followup

This is the form letter being sent to people who contacted the U of F police department to voice their disturbance over the video of the student tased at the John Kerry talk:

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with our agency. I have made a formal request of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to review this use of force action. I have full confidence in their ability to objectively investigate this incident.

As a professional organization, it is important that we remain open to and encourage feedback from the community we serve. Once this investigative process is complete, we will take everything into consideration as we move forward with our analysis and reviews of protocols and procedures.

Again, thank you for your comments.

Chief Linda J. Stump
University of Florida Police Dept.
51 Museum Road
PO Box 112150
Gainesville, FL 32611-2150
(352)392-5445
(352) 392-0539 Fax
lstump@ufl.edu

Once you've started wearing those shoes

We like ThoseShoes.com, and not just because our friends make them, or because we're Eagles fans, or because of our predilection for all things dragon. These shoes are gorgeous. Also, they are handcrafted by real live hippies living free in the uncharted wilderness of West Virginia, which is the next best thing to magical footwear cobbled by elves.

If you don't love dragons, there are lots of other designs, and if you don't like shoes, they also sell ergo bags, coin purses, eyeglass cases, and checkbook covers.

You can contact the company directly about custom work. Everything is made out of leather and painted by hand, and if you like to try your shoes on before you buy them, check out their their show schedule".

Politician Sues God

Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers has filed a lawsuit against God. The text of the complaint is awesome, since he accuses God of essentially being a terrorist! The following is a quote from his request for a "permanent injunction against God (also known by various aliasses, titles, names, designations)...".

"Alluding to the Bible and the men who wrote it, Chambers’ petition said God “has made admissions … to various handpicked, trusted chroniclers of yore regarding the making of terroristic threats and the causing of calamitous catastrophes resulting in the widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants …."

God has acknowledged, the petition said, causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

Current agents of God, presumably all manner of clergy, proclaim that He has, does and will continue to subject humankind to such things.

Chambers asked the court “To enter a permanent injunction, enjoining the Defendant [God] from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats as identified and described herein.”


However it is noted that since his claims are derived from a book written by other parties rather than God himself... the complaint is likely to be thrown out as "hear say".

I for one give Mr. Chambers mad props, and I wonder how well he is able to walk around there on Nebraska's picturesque streets, when his pants carry a pair of giant balls the size of Dick Cheney's head...

Welcome to the New America

You've probably already read about the University of Florida student who was dragged, handcuffed, tasered, and arrested because he decided to exercise his freedom of speech in a public venue by asking some sensitive questions to former presidential candidate John Kerry. Andrew Meyer, while touching on issues that are commonly (but, perhaps, inappropriately) relegated to the status of conspiracy theory, brought up several points that should seriously concern anyone who does not believe unquestioning faith in the federal government is the cornerstone of democracy. Something is rotten in Washington, and the fact that pointing this out is now an arrestable offense should concern everyone, regardless of political affiliation.

If you think the journalism student's actions were out of order in any way, or that his treatment was earned, please consider footage of the event, which seems to indicate that Meyer's questions were not out of the bounds of acceptability, and that the police action was inappropriate, excessively brutal, and wholly unnecessary. His freedom of speech was restricted for no given reason, and none of the footage I viewed indicates a rational explanation for his detainment, despite his repeated queries as to why he is being arrested. As a former resident of Illinois, required to pass the US Constitution test on three separate occasions, I'm pretty sure that's not right. Meyer was not causing a riot, inciting violence, or disturbing the peace. He was using a public forum for its intended purpose, to openly discuss important issues with a figure of political note. It was police, in this case, who appeared to be breaking the law.

In this age of camera phones and constant video surveillance, this sort of thing can't be swept under the rug. On the other hand, the fact that it happens, secretively or not, is disturbing. College students being refused the right to speak on college campuses frightens me. In other countries similar actions have fomented more than one uprising. Bush's government has slowly been whittling away at our civil liberties. We should all sit up and take notice when the Bill of Rights no longer guides the hand of law enforcement. Meyer is right. It is no longer enough, in this country, to vote ones heart. We all need to wonder who's counting our votes.

Network Television is NOT Your Friend

A few posts down, Woodeye shared his thoughts on NBC withdrawing content from iTunes over a pricing dispute. To wit, a medium that has always been free, although supported by advertising dollars, is unsatisfied with the profits from customers who are willing to pay for the privilege of receiving said content without advertising.

NBC is far more interested in advertising dollars than your dollars.

A source close to In The Weird (OK, it's my brother) was recently chatting with another fellow (their children attend preschool together) in marketing. He went on to explain that he owned his own company, and was working for NBC doing some very exciting new research. Given the technology that allows consumers to record their favorite shows and fast forward the commercials, netword execs propose the following question: What type of advertising is most effective when viewed at high speed, without sound?

NBC doesn't care whether 30 Rock makes you laugh or Heroes makes you think. Their primary concern is that you support their advertisers, so they may continue the mutually beneficial relationship with their real customers.

The New Science

Now, from the government that labeled ketchup a healthy vegetable and appointed censors to NASA to prevent the dissemination of information contradicting the official view that global warming is a myth, we bring you the new chemistry, in which any material that cannot be identified via X-ray is recategorized as a deadly weapon.

This week I returned from a long journey, flying out of Boston Logan Airport. I carried a bag containing a loaf of bread, a handful of peanuts, a carton of yogurt, and a container of hummus. The latter required a bag check, at which time I informed the TSA that I was carrying a carton of yogurt. Said employee took my hummus and yogurt, explaining that both substances were liquids, and therefore fell under the ban on carrying liquid in denominations of greater than 3.4 ounces.

I found this astounding. The yogurt, although solid in this case, could possibly seen as a liquid, since there are yogurt drinks. Hummus, on the other hand, has no liquid qualities, no more than peanut butter, Nutella, brie, or any other bread spread. It is a paste made primarily of ground garbanzo beans. I tried to reasonably explain to the man that "liquid" is a scientific term with a specific definition, and hummus did not fall under this umbrella.

His reponse was that if I opened it up and upended it over my head, it would fall out.

Well, anyone who has done this experiment (or, more intelligently, upended their hummus over a plate) will know this is not the case. You will need a spoon or knife to free the hummus. Furthermore, if you open a bag of popcorn and dump it over your head, it will fall out, but this does not make popcorn a liquid. The automaton in the TSA's employ could only repeat, "No liquid, gels, creams, or aerosols." He was not programmed for logic. He offered me the option of taking my food back to the check-in counter and eating it there. This was a pointless suggestion, since my journey was to be of 9 hours' duration and I had just finished breakfast.

"So you're confiscating my lunch?" I asked.

"No, you're surrendering it."

"Enjoy," I said.

"I'm throwing it out," he said, and did so.

Having little money, I was forced to dine instead on a small bag of popcorn, 2 candy bars, and a handful of carrots and peanuts. I told this story to a stewardess, who said she, and many others, had passed through the same checkpoint with cartons of clam chowder, which apparently is not a liquid. Wow, I feel a hell of a lot safer, knowing that I won't be troubled by terrorists with deadly middle eastern foodstuffs as I travel crammed into the cargo bay of a 747. It's a damn good thing the government is looking out for the safety of its people, protecting their interests, and foraying into the wild and wooly world of experimental chemistry.

I'm glad I live in America, where, at least until they rescind the Bill of Rights, I can proclaim THIS ADMINISTRATION SUCKS ASS. And most of them are idiots to boot.

Steampunk Star Wars - Sculptures by YumiModal

These are amazingly well designed and contructed Steampunk inspired renditions of some of our favorite Star Wars characters. These guys are brilliant, and their work extends far beyond Star Wars and includes characters from many films including Terminator, Aliens, Gremlins and many other franchises. If I had boat loads of extra money you can be assured one of these bad boys would greet anyone walking in my front door... and I would throw a few in the garden to keep birds at bay. Follow this link to check out their Star Wars collection, or just head over to their main page to select from their entire catalog.

Dick in a Box = Emmy

I am not sure what to say about this really. I think in fact Adam Sanburg says it all in his response to winning the award.

"I think it is safe to say when we first set out to write a song like "Dick in a Box", we were all thinking "Emmy"."

I already posted Dick in Box here once before, so too bad for you, I no posty again. Click the link above to read the BBC article on their victory, or go search the archives or YouTube to watch it if you wish. I for one am far too busy getting ready for the upcoming holiday season... cutting holes out of boxes.

Best of John Cleese: Anti-Semitism

John Cleese hates you, and you, and you, and... I freakin love this guy :)

Art on a small scale

Willard Wigan has found, by trial and error, the materials that work best in sculpting his chosen medium: a spiderweb, the hair off a fly, a diamond chip on an acupuncture needle. Wigan is a micro-artist, creating sculptures so small they can scarcely be perceived by the naked eye. Once he accidentally inhaled a month's work. Another masterpiece was destroyed by the rush of air off the wing of a flying insect. When you're six feet tall and your art is the size of a period at the end of a sentence, it takes more than an electron microscope and a willingness to work only between heartbeats to persevere. It takes a special kind of crazy. We salute that. Read more about Willard Wigan in The Daily Mail.

Dear NBC, Frak Me? No, Frak You!

Below is the email I sent to the tards at NBC who want to charge $4.99 an episode for their shows thru iTunes... for which Apple rightly told them to go to hell.

"Since you offer no other way to contact NBC higher ups without going thru a stupid survey, please forward this on the the idiots upstairs that make all the decisions.

NBC removing itself from iTunes after attempting to negotiate the right to overcharge us customers to a ludicrous degree ($4.99 an episode?!?!?!) has shown that you don't care about your customers in the slightest. You don't seem to care at all that I have purchased the following shows from you via iTunes:

The Office (all seasons), 30 Rock, Heros, Black Donnellys, and Battlestar Galactica (all seasons), Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis (recent seasons)... all via iTunes. Do the math on that for a second ok... looking at a couple hundred dollars at least spent on NBC shows via iTunes over the last two years.

Now let's do the math on how many NBC shows I own on DVD: ZERO

Now let's see how many NBC shows I watch via regular ad supported television: ZERO

This will never change, I will not watch your advertising ever, even if I rip the show in some other way, via recording off the tv with my EyeTV or grabbing free torrents 10 minutes after the show airs.

Two years ago I had never given a penny to you, then Apple built a system that allowed me to easily download your shows in a safe, copy protected format, and watch on my computer or TV with great simplicity. Now you want to drive me away and possibly turn me and others back into torrent pirates to get the tv shows we want to watch minus the commercials we fraking hate.

If you think for a second that I will ever come to your site to get my shows, you are dead wrong. You will never ever get another single drop of revenue from me until you patch up your relationship with Apple, and start offering your shows via iTunes again... and for the prices you were already charging. The idea that you want to charge upwards of $100 per show/per season via iTunes when you then offer the damn thing on dvd for $39 bucks shows what greedy jerks are making your decisions. You should be completely ashamed of yourselves, and you should fire the idiots who made this decision.

So it's iTunes for $1.99 or nothing at all for you, you choose... I already have.

Good bye NBC, and Frak the hell off!
...from a former viewer.

Jeffrey Woods"